Are you seriously fond of Easter eggs? The best bit, still, is breaking them to bits - that moment of malicious pleasure that springs from a well-gauged splinter action. Then comes disappointment and an ageing twinge of nostalgia. The chocolate seems to get thinner and taste sicklier each year. This glum state of affairs has set me thinking about some liquid chocolatey treats which I think you might enjoy a great deal more.
First, a batch of super-sumptuous red wines from the New World - all of them dry and hence designed to enjoy primarily with savoury food, yet with a distinct note of chocolate wrapped in a smooth, rich, velvety style. By nature, these are sensual wines with massive appeal. They're the sort of thing you could serve to your wine-fussy father-in-law and your Malibu-guzzling kid sister simultaneously this weekend, praise and empty bottle guaranteed. With the same luxury feel as good chocolate, and the same irresistibility, they'll disappear fast.
From California, I've chosen two wines - a Cabernet Sauvignon with the mint chocolate character so typical of that country (see "Bottle of the Week"), and an outstanding example of Zinfandel, with berrycherry-chocolate flavours to the fore. Australia is represented by two extra-rich and chocolatey reds, one straight Shiraz and the other a Cabernet-Shiraz blend. Then, from Argentina, there's a gloriously intense example of Malbec, the red grape which often conjures up crazy thoughts of blackberries dusted with drinking chocolate.
Don't be put off by all this chocolate talk. It is only one small element in the make-up of the wines, tied in to the smoothness that is part of their appeal. Along with it, in every case, comes a whole bagful of other flavours, juicy acidity and the gentle grip of soft tannin - making for wonderfully versatile wines. You can enjoy them with a wide range of meat, poultry, pasta, pizza and vegetable dishes. They are also soft and round enough to sip on their own. I'll even venture one step further and say they're not half bad with chocolate.
Now, this is hazardous in the extreme. Wine writers infinitely more expert that I will ever be have written at great length and in chorus, bewailing the difficulties of matching wine with chocolate. This very month, in a wine magazine tasting aimed at solving the conundrum, one panellist is driven by the "unspeakable" mixture of Shiraz and petits pots au chocolat to issue the dire warning: "Do not, under any circumstances, drink still red wine with chocolate."
Maybe he is right. Or maybe I am very, very odd. All I can say is that sometimes in my household on Friday evenings, when hunger persists after the main course and nobody has the energy to make dessert, the end of the red wine is polished off with any decent chocolate that can be found. Tannic, austere red wines obviously don't suit, but with fruitier, more voluptuous New World reds with a touch of chocolate in their makeup, a few squares of dark temptation seem to me to taste very good indeed.
In case you should disagree, however, I've included a couple of dessert wines whose flavours complement those of chocolate without a shred of doubt. Best of all - by a long way, I believe - is Banyuls. This red vin doux naturel from Roussillon tastes sinfully brilliant with chocolate: you may end up greedily guzzling more of both than is wise. Why is it still hidden away like a dark secret, I wonder? Isn't it time we diverted from the middle-of-the-road, catch-all dessert wine, Muscat de Beaumes de Venise? Interested retailers or restaurants should note that Brangan & Co import the delicious Banyuls from Domaine de la Rectorie listed below; Mitchell & Son have three styles from the Domaines et Chateaux du Roussillon co-op; and Wines Direct in Mullingar is just receiving its first consignment from Domaine du Mas Blanc, the estate of the celebrated Dr Andre Parce, who expended so much effort reviving the Banyuls appellation.
Also under the Forgotten Treasure heading comes the second dessert wine, Muscat de Rivesaltes - also from Roussillon. (Not always a treasure, incidentally: quality can vary drastically, as anybody who has swilled the very cheap stuff while on holiday will know.) Rivesaltes itself has richer dried fruit and coffee notes which give it even more potential to partner chocolate happily than the region's Muscat, but it's damnably difficult to find here. It seems destined to remain a holiday best buy, like so many French dessert wines. Other possibilities for your Easter chocolate - especially if it comes in the form of a light, fluffy mousse - include sparklers such as demi-sec champagne or Moscato d'Asti. For darker confections without more intense flavours, a 10-year-old tawny port can be an inspired choice, its subtle nuttiness working every bit as well as lightly toasted nuts do in a chocolate cake. But please, don't forget to have a bit of fun with the dry red wines as well. Scrabbling through a pile of books, still looking for some support on this decidedly sticky wicket, I've at last found a few words of encouragement. Hugh Johnson has this to say about wines to go with chocolate: "Generally only powerful flavours can compete. Experiment with rich, ripe reds: Syrah, Zinfandel, even sparkling Shiraz." Whee!
Choc-full of flavour
Geyser Peak Cabernet Sauvignon 1995
(Londis, Malahide, Lord Mayor's, Swords, Kellys, Artane, Best Cellar, Coolock, Spar, Leeson St, Duffys, Terenure, Cooneys, Harold's Cross, Grapes of Mirth, Rathmines, Deveneys, Dundrum and Rosemount, Sandyford House, Pielows, Enniskerry, Fine Wines, Limerick, Londis, Kilmuckridge, and other outlets, usually £8.99).
A luscious light-to-middleweight, full of ripe, juicy flavours with just a touch of mint chocolate (see Bottle of the Week).
Valentin Bianchi Malbec Reserve 1995 (Oddbins, Baggot St & Blackrock, £10.99).
A super-charged Argentinian, concentrated and voluptuous, blending a dash of chocolate into a powerful melange of blackberries and spice. Despite the initial burst of sweetness, there's a lively, savoury finish.
Maglieri McLaren Vale Shiraz 1994/5 (Verlings, Foleys, Grapes of Mirth, Donovans, Cork, and some other outlets, usually £11.99).
A smashing, full-flavoured Shiraz which we could all enjoy more if so much weren't gulped down in Aer Lingus Premier Class. Luscious hints of plums, dates, chocolate, coffee and pepper . . . The price has just jumped, but it's still a good buy.
Ridge Lytton Springs Zinfandel 1995 (James Nicholson, Redmonds, McCabes, Dublin Wine Co, Malahide, McCabes, £1518).
From Paul Draper, one of the great masters of Californian winemaking and a self-acknowledged Zin freak, a hugely sumptuous wine - brimming with gutsy, spicy flavour yet ultra-smooth. Memorable stuff.
Wolf Blass Black Label Cabernet-Shiraz 1994 (leading branches of Superquinn, Quinnsworth, Foleys, McCabes, some SuperValus countrywide, Lynchs, Glanmire, many other outlets, usually £21-£23).
When Wolf Blass uncorked a bottle of his 1989 Black Label in Dublin recently, the critics lapped it up . . . and that was before he told us what a big investment wine it has become; the 89 he claims is now worth over £100. The 94 is massively rich and smooth as Valrhona, but has all the punchy staying power of the man himself. Keep it if you can.
Good choc absorbers
Domaine de la Rectorie Banyuls, Cuvee Parce Freres, 1996 (Terroirs, Verlings, McCabes, Deveneys, Lord Mayor's, Swords, and other outlets, usually about £14); or Domaine de la Rectorie Cuvee Tradition 1996 (same outlets, half bottle about £7.25).
If you haven't yet sampled the supreme pleasure of Banyuls, crack a bottle open this weekend with some dark chocolate indulgence. It's mainly Grenache, sent teetering off in the direction of port. Delicious and heartwarmingly different.
Muscat de Rivesaltes, Les Producteurs du Mont Tauch, 1996 (Mortons, Ranelagh, Carvills, Camden St, Savages, Swords, and other outlets, usually £11-11.50).
I've nothing against Beaumes-deVenise except that it overshadows so many other light and tasty French Muscats - like this one whose orange character goes well with chocolate mousse. It needs to be freezing cold.