At the end of this month a couple of men clad in sober suits - two or three, Quidnunc is not sure - will arrive in Dublin from Brussels to, in a phrase, examine the books. The anonymous Eurocrats will be ascertaining to what extend the Minister for Finance, Charlie McCreevy, has been adhering to the EU's broad economic policy guidelines. They were last here in June, and so displeased were they with what they found then that Ireland Inc was given a sharp rap on the knuckles.
McCreevy, of course, paid little attention and indeed was possibly more bullish than usual. Now they want to assess our situation again, and decide whether or not measures have been introduced to lower inflation. To this end, they will consult with the Department of Finance, ask it to explain itself and then issue a report to the EU's Economic and Finance Committee, which represents all members - even us, the new Eurosceptics.
Financial gurus here now pronounce McCreevy a lucky man. Despite his determination not to kowtow to Brussels and to pursue his own economic course to the end (i.e. his fifth budget on December 5th), he, and us, are escaping the doom the EU predicted, because the downturn in the global economy means everything is slowing down. So, without altering policy, he is expected to get a better report from Brussels this time.
Our minister may be more interesting and flamboyant than some would like, but the other extreme is Hans Eichel, the German Finance Minister, whose boss, Chancellor Gerhard Schr÷der, is said to have described him as being as colourful as a paper clip. To improve his image, Eichel has commissioned a song which was performed by the pop group Dezibel at an open day at the ministry, the former Luftwaffe headquarters, in Berlin last weekend.
The first verse goes as follows: He doesn't stand for high debt mountains/They should come down/That's what he takes responsibility for/He doesn't want our children to inherit it/So he's thrifty/He promises nothing he cannot deliver/He lowers taxes where he can/He gets the economy moving/So that young people have a future.
It may sound better in German, but the reviews are not good. One compared it to the worst of East Germany. Quidnunc advises our Charlie not to follow this example, but maybe Bertie Ahern could learn a thing or two from the newish Japanese PM, Junichiro Koizumi. And not just his Armani suits and what is called his permed "Lion King" hairstyle. A CD of his karaoke renditions of Elvis Presley hits - Junichiro Koizumi Presents My Favourite Elvis Songs - has gone on sale.
Don't laugh. Koizumi's approval rating in the polls is now 90 per cent.