Trevor Sargent's Deep-Fat Flyer is on the road and ready for action, writes Miriam Lord
The Green Party leader took delivery of his election battle-bus on Thursday, and he steered it with pride up the M1 to Drogheda yesterday for his party's first think-in of the year.
Parked in a position of prominence next to the entrance to the Boyne Valley Hotel, the Deep-Fat Flyer seemed an entirely inappropriate choice of transport for a man with such environmentally-sound credentials.
Could that really be Trevor, sitting high behind the wheel of a dickied-up nine-seater gas-guzzler? Surely not.
At this rate he'll be dying his hair blonde, perching designer sunglasses on top of his head and double-parking when he collects the vegetables from the farmers' market.
Trevor is very excited about his three-year-old van with windows. "Solutions for the 21st century" it says along the side, in Irish and English. The bodywork is green and is festooned with green images - Trevor, two ramblers sitting on a hill, the Luas and a little girl eating a slice of wholesome brown bread.
As for the battle-bus, it runs on vegetable oil. We should have known.
And if the exhaust emits a faint whiff of eau de batterburger, all the better.
As he tours the country in the coming months, confused young voters will be drawn to Trevor's Deep-Fat Flyer by a subliminal urge for a single of chips. Whereupon he can grease their minds with the Green message.
But back at headquarters it's the whiff of power that is lubricating minds.
At it stands, the Greens have six TDs in the Dáil, and they are hopeful of a few more after the election. There is every chance they will be needed to make up the numbers when the time comes to form a new government, and they know it.
To this end, the endearingly dotty image that once prevailed has been ditched. The Greens are now serious contenders, and they are taking steps to ensure that the mainstream takes notice.
If proof of this new approach were needed, there was incontrovertible evidence at the two-day think-in.
Terry Prone, of Carr Communications, was the star turn.
Last Thursday morning, Terry provided four hours of media training for sitting deputies, and in the afternoon Terry and a colleague put "non-TD candidates" through their paces.
Party handlers - for the Greens have acquired them too - are aware that engaging the experienced Ms Prone, famed for hot-housing Fianna Fáil ministers in the art of sincerity, might not go down well with some supporters.
"We have to move with the times," explained an adviser. "We're up against parties who are now bringing in spin-doctors from America to help mould their image." He added that they would continue to avail of Carr Communications' services in the run-up to the election.
More evidence of the new, slicker Greens came during the launching of their policy on primary healthcare. Deputies and candidates mustered on the hotel lawn for a photocall and posed behind a large mock-up of a medical card. It flagged their proposal to provide free healthcare for the under-sixes if they (the Greens, not the under-sixes) get into government.
When interviewed on camera, Trevor made sure he was surrounded by election candidates.
Three adorable pre-school children were then produced for the photographs. Deputy Ciarán Cuffe stood by with a Frisbee in case action shots were required.
At a press conference to announce details of the policy, health spokesman John Gormley outlined the party's proposals, while Cllr Deirdre de Burca (Wicklow) dealt with the area of maternity care and Cllr Mark Dearey (Louth) spoke on nutrition and obesity.
"I want to talk about food and drink," began Cllr Dearey. "I was an organic vegetable grower for 11 years, and now I'm a publican."
It was hard not to view Mark's progress in business as a metaphor for his party's journey towards a more pragmatic approach to politics.
New image aside, the Greens say they are not compromising on their policies. "They will respect the limits that nature has intended, and we will work within those," stressed Trevor.
So far, his party has managed to avoid getting backed into post-election commitments, and they say they will deal with whomever can best deliver on their "holistic range of policies".
After the formalities, they laid on a very decent lunch - vegetarian for Trevor, but sadly no stuffed peppers and no opportunity to recycle a favourite Green quip.
"Oh look, it's Sargent's Pepper!" Cracks them up every time.