The elections are everywhere. Will she run? Won't she run? Is he a candidate? Should he be a candidate? Who's stabbing whom in the back? And just who is destroying election posters in mid-Kerry?
The Offaly Express gets straight to the action with a report of "extraordinary scenes at Thursday's meeting of Tullamore UDC, the last before the local elections." Cllr Sean O'Brien (Lab) claimed he had been subjected to all kinds of abuse at last year's annual meeting.
"Many of his colleagues took grave exception to this comment . . . while one councillor became very distressed and tearful," we are told.
Cllr Anne O'Toole (Ind) said she was "very, very upset," by the Labour man's remarks.
Over in Mayo, things weren't much better at the final meeting of its county council before the June 11th poll. As the Western People tells it, ail Councillor Cllr Jack Heneghan (FF) took the opportunity of his retiring to "lash out" at party colleagues. He told a stunned council chamber that he was leaving local politics "a sad and disillusioned man. The insults offered to me by my own I will never forgive," he said. After 32 years in Fianna Fail, he said he had planned to stand as an independent but, on medical advice, would retire instead - though with a warning.
"It is only starting and I will be elaborating on these matters in the next few weeks, when I will be in contact with the press."
There are more rows in the Glenties with the director of elections for Fianna Fail in Donegal, Mr Brian Gallagher, accusing independent TD, Mr Thomas Gildea, of being "opportunistic" by contesting the local elections.
The Derry People and Donegal News reports Mr Gallagher as saying Mr Gildea was "stabbing the knife" into sitting FF councillor, Mr Francis Brennan. ail had supported the anti-MMDS campaign and Councillor Brennan had helped Deputy Gildea get elected," it reports. "Deputy Gildea said the statement was `sour grapes' on Fianna Fail's part and they had the mistaken view that because he voted for the party in the Dail they somehow owned him." Dana is causing ructions, too, with her claims that "incontinence pads were not being issued to patients with Alzheimer's disease in a care unit in Donegal."
The Derry People and Donegal News reports the North Western Health Board calling on the candidate in the European elections to "substantiate or withdraw [her] claims".
The Sligo Champion has us wondering whether one candidate should be running at all. Father Liam Sharkey insists he is not breaking canon law by entering the race for the European Parliament.
Having handed in his nomination papers at Cavan Courthouse last Monday, the Sligo priest said the Bishop of Elphin, Dr Christy Jones, had been in contact with him. "He looked at things in a different way than I did," he told the paper, "but this is a learning process for all of us. We are living in times of great change and my decision to contest a European election is another part of that change."
Meanwhile, the Offaly In- dependent puts an end to our agony with the news that Ms Molly Buckley is to run as an independent for Tullamore UDC, having resigned from Fine Gael. And the Nationalist tells of "PD turmoil" in Co Carlow after the resignation of three members of the party's constituency officer board.
One of those who resigned, Mr Paul O'Flaherty, said "the resignations have come about through their disgust with the fact that Kilkenny voting power at a recent convention . . . meant Kilkenny could dictate what candidates were selected."
But politics is a dirty business. While Fine Gael in Letterkenny is trying to tidy things up a bit with its pledge not to erect posters as part of its campaign for the UDC (Derry People and Donegal News), a Garda investigation is under way in Kerry to find out just who is sabotaging posters erected by the independent candidate, Mr Brendan Cronin.
Two posters, which cost Mr Cronin £35 each, were destroyed, reports the Kerryman.
"It is the height of blackguarding," said Mr Cronin.
But, if the sentiments of retiring councillors in Kerry typify those of any who bow out after a career in local politics, it must all be worth it.
Six councillors are stepping down from Kerry County Council, under the "scrappage scheme", and, according to the Kerryman, they will receive "substantial payments".
The "father" of the council, Cllr James Courtney, is retiring after 40 years with a payout of £24,476. The other five will receive between £15,950 and £20,976.
Paying tribute to his fellow-councillors at Monday's meeting the acting chairman, Mr Dan Barry, thanked the council officials for their co-operation.
"He paid a special tribute to the council's finance officer, Mr John O'Conner," the paper adds. In Waterford tenants of a sort were singing the night away, despite their troubles. In the early hours of last August 19th prisoners in Waterford Garda station held a sing-song, the district court was told.
According to the Munster Ex- press, Garda Liam Doyle was in charge of the station when a former taxi-driver, Mr Paul Lonergan, struck up a song with two other inmates. Mr Lonergan "was unsteady on his feet and unfit to drive", when arrested for drunken driving.
"There were two other prisoners in the cells and there was a bit of a sing-song in progress between the three," the paper reports.
Accepting a fine of £250 and a ban from driving for two years, Mr Lonergan, however, fought his corner on the singing issue.
He said he was "unable to sing".
