Joe Higgins's efforts on behalf of Kerry tourism are little short of heroic. Having already lobbied for the top of Carrantuohill as a suitable venue for the visit of the US president in June, he was at it again yesterday, this time suggesting the Blasket Islands, and the home of Peig Sayers.
As Joe sees it, President Bush is part of the same great story-telling tradition as Peig, and where better for him to tell the Taoiseach the one about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction? As Trevor Sargent reminded the house, the US secret service wanted a "sterile zone" around the president when he visited Britain, and the Blaskets - uninhabited since the 1950s - would have a head start here. But the Taoiseach sidestepped Trevor's questions about secret agents and snipers, confirming only that Ireland would pick up the security bill. That was why, he added, in a swipe at Kerry tourism's Dail rep, it was important the cost was not increased by any "rent a crowd". Mr Higgins snarled that the 100,000 who marched against the war last year would be "interested" to hear themselves so described.
Intrigue was not confined to Mr Bush's security yesterday. Pat Rabbitte brought up an old promise by Michael Smith to set up a "secret intelligence body" to counter terrorism. When the Taoiseach said such a body had not been deemed necessary, Mr Rabbitte sounded disappointed that "the idea of us going around referring to the Minister of Defence as "M" or something like that" would not happen.
"M" was noticeably present during Taoiseach's questions yesterday, whereas Micheál Martin ("Double M", to give him his code-name) was not.
Interpreting the Taoiseach's weekend speech as meaning the Hanly report was "dead", Mr Rabbitte announced that Mr Smith had been right all along, and Mr Martin wrong.
In a more general conclusion about the ardfheis, Enda Kenny welcomed the Taoiseach and his party back "from Disneyland". But he was saying goodbye to them too. This week sees the start of the great St Patrick's week migration.
Mr Kenny singled out the attendance of former junior minister Ned O'Keeffe at the "Oslo Aerospace Technology Exhibition". Mr O'Keeffe is well known for his involvement in a certain branch of farming. And having asked the question, Mr Kenny answered it himself. Pigs might fly, he supposed.