Watch what you say in public, as your words may end up on a website devoted to Dubliners' unintended wit, writes Shane Hegarty
Here's a modern anecdote, courtesy of the website Overheard in Dublin: "I was standing at a bus stop on O'Connell Street. There were two girls beside me talking in Irish to each other. Next thing you know, two local Dubliners walk by and hear the two girls talking. One of the Dubliners looks at the two girls and says 'Hey, f**k off back to yer own country'."
It's about as insightful a look into the capital, and the country, as you can get from four lines. Overheard In Dublin is a website full of such pithy gems. Malapropisms, witticisms and unintended wisdom collected in the pubs, buses, courts, cinemas and streets of the city to be shared with the world. It was started in March by a brother and sister as something to amuse their friends, but now attracts 45,000 hits a day, is printing T-shirts and has made dumb pub conversations a regular topic of pub conversation.
Whatever about recreating Dublin from Ulysses, with stories from every corner of the city, you could take a stab at it through Overheard in Dublin. The city you'd reconstruct, though, would be filled with cheeky kids with cutting wit, confused tourists, random acts of stupidity and wags on every bus. It's a treasure trove of language, soft-hearted political incorrectness and a reminder that the Dublin accent translates very well onto any page. Culchies, of course, are a common theme:
"Country girl gets on No 16 bus and asks driver how much is the fare? Driver replies: 'where are you going?' Country Girl says: 'To get my hair done!'"
It captures the rapid change of the city, for example the woman, perturbed by the euro changeover, who wondered: "Why can't they wait 'til the old people die before they bring it in?"
The courts offer much entertainment too. There's the woman in a verbal assault case who is too coy to repeat the insult publicly. So she's given a pen and paper to write it down, only for her to take some time. When the judge asks if there's a problem she replies: "Is there one or two Ls in bollix?"
Taxi drivers feature, as you would expect, but the buses seem to be especially fertile places. In one story a bus driver, irritated by the constant ringing of the bell, slams on the brakes and announces to the bus: "I'm not f***ing Quasimodo!"
The site asks the city to prick up its ears and pass on what it hears, and its success has been to capture both developing and old-fashioned Dublin wit, language and accent more comprehensively than anything since Roddy Doyle's The Barrytown Trilogy. That is no coincidence. Sinead and Gerard Kelly began the website as an opportunity to share with friends abroad the hilarities of Dublin conversations.
Sinead works as a cabin crew member for Aer Lingus and found that, regardless of whether she was overhearing Dubs in their home town or in Los Angeles, she couldn't help hearing things that made her think "that is very Roddy Doyle".
Having sent the link to a few friends, she soon began hearing about it through friends of friends. Meanwhile, having originally collected the stories themselves, the site was receiving anecdotes from the public. After only six months, they now sift through an average of 50 entrants a day, editing out the urban myths, chancers and foul language and posting about five a day.
"We're a bit overwhelmed by how quickly it's taken off, to be honest," says Sinead, who works on the site when not in the skies and admits that they already have eventual plans for Galway, Cork and London versions. Ultimately, they'd like to publish a collection of the best stories in a book.
For two years there had already been Overheard in New York, a hugely successful enterprise which over the course of a couple of years has spawned T-shirts, books and imitations. Overheard in Dublin has been described as an imitator, but Sinead insists they knew nothing about the American site until recently.
Regardless of the similarities, there are some major differences. For instance, the New York site has a volunteer army of 350 or so, who keep their ears open and their computers logged on in readiness for any gems.
Overheard In Dublin, however, relies purely on assiduous Dubs. People on trains, in taxi queues, in cinemas and waiting in line at a shop counter. It relies on word of mouth, literally.
Why has it become so popular?
"There is a uniquely Irish humour," says Sinead. "And I've found that if I'm talking about it on a radio station, I have to say it's only when you read them on the site that it clicks in the mind.
"There's just something we really enjoy about these ironic situations. I've found that I might send the site to friends abroad, but they don't quite get it. We just get it."