The media is engaged, once again, in deep analysis over the under-age drinking issue. Everything is blamed: advertising, drinking laws, law enforcement, morality, the drink culture, a dysfunctional society. But, the new American director of the Rutland Centre says the fundamental responsibility for the disturbing statistic that Irish teenagers drink more than their European peers lies "squarely on the shoulders of parents".

"Alcohol use is such a central part of Irish society that it enhances the likelihood of difficulties. (The Irish) are in total denial as a society about the seriousness of this. We have to develop an awareness for the tolerance we have for intolerable behaviour," says Stephen Rowen, a father of four with roots in Roscommon who took over the Rutland Centre post one year ago and has been shocked at the amount of drinking he sees among young people here, compared to the US.

The centre sees clients who began drinking at the age of eight, although the most significant number (30 per cent) began drinking at the age of 11 or 12.

"The amount of alcohol being consumed by young people is frighteningly high. According to the European Survey of Secondary Schools, the amount translates to 11 litres of pure alcohol per year for each second-level student. That's about 330 pints of beer per year per person aged 15 and older," he says.

Most of this drinking is going on during "weekend" binges - keep in mind that the "weekend" now starts on Thursday night. "It impairs their judgment so they make poor choices around how they manage their feelings and finances," says Rowen. He cites research showing that two thirds of sexual assaults on young women are alcohol-related and involve men with whom the women are acquainted. Every weekend, young men are beaten up by other young men who have been drinking too much, while others are killed on the road or commit suicide in a haze of post-binge depression.

But we already know the damage that the misuse of alcohol can do. What are we going to do about it?

Our children drink because we do. They drink too much because we do. They believe that alcohol is essential to having a good time because that's what we believe. And that's why this is such a difficult issue. How many parents are willing to give up the bottle of wine with dinner, the pub drinks after work, the social night out where drink is the centrepiece? How many parents are willing to honestly address the issue of using drink as a way to relax in a stressed-out lifestyle? How many parents are willing to admit that they drink too much?

As Rowen puts it: "Ireland has a training programme for kids - training them to become alcohol dependent."

"I want to challenge parents to take ownership of the problem," says Rowen. "We don't realise how important our lifestyle is in terms of the impact on the lives and choices of young people. Irish people in general drink too much and parents need to take ownership in their part of the problem. We underestimate the importance of what we say. Kids listen to us more than we think they do. They look to us for discussion, guidance and role models."

Too many parents are willing to be lenient around drink, when the message they should be giving is this: remain abstinent until you turn 18. "It is illegal for an 18-year-old to drink in this country so parents have a duty to uphold the law. It's not right for parents to say, `there's no harm in drinking, we did it when we were kids.' Parents don't realise that young people today are drinking a lot more than young people were 20 years ago."

Binge-drinking by young people is where the real danger lies. "If you drink in moderation as a young person, you are more likely to drink in moderation later on," says Rowen. "It is the heavy use of alcohol early in life that is the most significant indicator of future alcohol dependency."

But this does not mean that encouraging 15-year-olds to drink in moderation will encourage them to make right choices they are too young to make. Their judgment is not developed enough, no matter what the context, says Rowen. They are in the midst of making important educational and career decisions, which should not be clouded by drink.

And drinking in youth is a risk in itself, because the earlier you start, the more likely you are to develop a drinking problem, Rowen argues. He disagrees with the romantic Irish view of the French family who give their children watered-down wine as a way of turning them into responsible drinkers. "Some parents think that if their children drink under their own roof that this will protect them. The only thing that will protect children is for parents to tell their children not to drink until they are 18," he says.

Coming from the US, where young people are not allowed into pubs until they turn 21, Rowen has been shocked by the sight of 15-year-olds rolling around drunk in the middle of the day when the Junior Cert results are published. While 15-year-olds are not allowed to drink in pubs, they are allowed into pubs. So who is going to stop them drinking? Do parents have the courage to say no?

Stephen Rowen will speak about alcohol and young people at the Milltown Park conference centre, Ranelagh, Dublin, this Thursday at 7.30 p.m. Admission free.