With just three weeks left to the start of the Leaving Certificate, parents need to give their beleagured children as much support as they can to get through this initiation rite, writes Brian Mooney
The school year has just ended for most of Ireland's Leaving Certificate students and the rituals of prize days, school liturgies and other such rituals that mark the end of school life have been completed. For these tens of thousands of students, the next three weeks will be taken up with making the final preparations for the Leaving Certificate. Almost 60,000 students will sit the examination in June.
What is the rationale behind putting students through this deeply stressful process? The answer is certification. In societies throughout the world we assess capability and capacity to perform roles in society, through an examination process.
Success or failure in the performance of candidates plays a major role in career developments, earning power and social status.
As a parent, what can you do to support your child through this process over the coming weeks? From ancient times parents have looked on anxiously as their children were put through various rites of initiation into adult life. We can at least be thankful that the modern version of initiation, the written examination system, is less physically demanding that some of the more primitive initiation processes our ancestors endured.
The first thing parents can do is to make a clear distinction for their children between their hopes and expectations regarding performance in the examination process and their unconditional love for them. Many parents will be horrified that I would even raise this question, but having worked with students for over a quarter of a century, I can assure parents that the biggest stress that most students experience is the fear they will disappoint their parents. This fear is very often hidden and almost never verbalised, but underlines most students' deepest fears. Therefore, I would encourage parents to take time out to sit down with their children and assure them that they are loved and cared for, no matter how they perform in the examination, but that as parents they wish to support and guide them in performing to the best of their ability. Such an action is, in my opinion, the greatest gift any parent can give their child who is facing the stress of examinations at this time.
Having made this distinction between the unconditional love of parents for their child and their hopes for success in the examination process, what can a parent do to help those hopes come to fruition? The most important thing to remember is that in stressful situations, unsolicited advice usually only adds to stress and does not add greatly to performance. Some parents may see this as so much mumbo jumbo, and stand by the tried and tested: "Now that school is finished I want you to get up to your room and open those books, and don't let me see you for four hours" approach. Do you remember what you did when your parents did that to you? Exactly, you went up all right, and counted down the minutes until it was safe to come down again. The quality of the study during those hours probably left a lot to be desired.
A more successful approach might be to ask your son or daughter how they are doing, now that the exam is only weeks away and the support structure of school is no longer there. The discipline to listen rather than jump in with advice the minute they start speaking will allow them to express what they are feeling. If they perceive parents as genuinely supportive they will have the courage to outline their fears and anxieties. This will allow parents to ask questions such as: do you find the methods you are using to revise questions are working for you? Are there any topics you are finding more difficult than others to comprehend? Are you happy with the manner in which you are using these last precious weeks to prepare for the exams? How can I help you to be more effective in these preparations? Imagine your approach to your studies after such a conversation. Resentment would be replaced with a determination to build on the positive feelings emanating from such a stress-relieving encounter.
Having put the whole Leaving Certificate process in the context of family life, it's important to discuss the more practical aspects of support that students sitting examinations require. Examinations are a highly artificial method of judging ability and assess only one specific skill, ie the ability to write and present information in a highly structured manner, in 30- to 40-minute blocks, over three-hour periods, spread over two weeks.
For practical tips on how to use this time effectively, see the panel: What you need to know: 10 study tips.
