Colin Murphy

Current job: Comedian, presenter of The Blizzard of Odd

What schools did you go to? St Patrick's boys' primary and St Patrick's grammar school in Downpatrick, Co Down

Best subject? Art

Worst subject? Chemistry

What's the boldest thing you ever did in school? Smoking out the back on the fire escape. People weren't really "bold": it was a strict school and corporal punishment was still legal, in fact compulsory.

Who was your favourite teacher, and why? Noreen Milligan, my art teacher. She didn't treat us like the obnoxious children we undoubtedly were. She constantly encouraged us to try new things and when all five of us got into art college we knew she was genuinely proud.

Who was the object of your first crush? I honestly can't remember. I went to all-boys schools so I was never around girls until I was, let me see, 34.

What was your earliest career ambition? At five I wanted to be a cowboy, at seven I wanted to be a priest, at eight I wanted to be an astronaut, at 10 I wanted to be a bus driver, at 17 I wanted to be a comedian, at 22 I wanted to be a cowboy again.

Were you cool or nerdy at school? I would like to think of myself as cool. Yes, definitely. I was the coolest nerd in our year.

Did you go to college? I went to Bristol Polytechnic and then to University of Ulster for Art and Design and did a degree in illustration.

What song most reminds you of your school days? Feed The World - Band Aid. What would you look for when choosing a school for your own children? Basically, the closest one to our house.

Were your school days the best days of your life? Are you nuts?