One of the most sensitive issues to be agreed in the consultation process for Relationships and Sexuality Education is how and when the issue of homosexuality is to be tackled. Most primary teachers are aware that it is currently fashionable for some very young boys, from as early as seven or eight years of age, to insult others by calling them hurtful terms such as "gay", "faggot" and "queer".

It would be foolish to assume that such young children fully understand the implication of what they are saying. It is most likely that they are only repeating words they do not really understand simply because those words are guaranteed to get a strong reaction. Unfortunately, such namecalling can have serious consequences. Some lads, insulted by those names when growing up, begin to worry about their sexual orientation from as early as 11 or 12 years of age.

Effective education programmes in this area must deal sensitively with such worries.

With young children it may be possible to stop homophobic namecalling by treating it as a bullying matter. Obviously, older children who are worried about their sexual orientation will need to have the topic dealt with in a way that helps to reassure them.

There is no simple formula to guide teachers. The information pupils need and the context in which it is best given will depend on their age and maturity. The core values and ethos of the school will also influence how teachers deal with the moral and spiritual aspects of heterosexual and homosexual relationships.

In secondary schools, many people will be familiar with the situation where an effeminate boy is assumed to be gay and is teased by peers who mince after him with limp wrists. It may not be as difficult to put a stop to such incredibly cruel behaviour as many teachers assume.

ONE VERY EFFECTIVE way of stopping such teasing was discovered by a teacher accidentally. While walking down a corridor she saw what was happening behind her reflected in the glass of one of the doors.

She waited at the door and asked the leader of the group if she could have a private word with him later. When they met, she gently told him that she was concerned. She told how she had seen him mince down the corridor and suggested that he might like to talk to her about his problem. Her intervention put an immediate stop to the teasing.

I occasionally meet students who are quite open about having a gay sibling. I have also met students who have a parent who has separated from a spouse and is living with a same-sex partner. Last year I was talking to a Transition Year student. She was telling me about her boyfriend who lived with his mother and her partner. I assumed the partner was a man - until she referred to her as "she". Seeing my surprise she chuckled: "Oh, didn't I tell you his Mum is a lesbian?"

Although these situations are rare, they illustrate how important it is that no teacher should be left ignorant of their school policy regarding homosexuality. Those involved in the consultation process may find themselves challenged to explore their own sexual attitudes and values in the process.

I suspect that the temptation, particularly in primary schools, may be to say "homophobic namecalling or worries about sexual orientation are not an issue in this school". This may be true but it is an assumption that is frequently proved incorrect when investigated. A principal who was shocked when I suggested that her sixth-class girls might have questions about homosexuality changed her mind when her nine-year-old daughter asked her if one of the Spice Girls was a lesbian.

For a young person who is worried about being gay, adolescence is incredibly difficult. A person has choices about his or her sexual behaviour. He or she does not have a choice about sexual orientation.

Science has not yet identified what determines sexual orientation. The New Kinsey Institute Report on Sexuality estimates that about 4 per cent of men and 2 per cent of women are exclusively homosexual. Surely these statistics indicate how vital it is that schools have an agreed policy on this subject.

Carmel Wynne is an RSE teacher.