Bill is a Kerryman of long standing in the staffroom. He has been unbearable since September since Sam went south. So no chance is lost by other members of staff to score a point. "How do you know the Kerryman was using the staffroom computer?" asks Jim.

"No idea," choruses the staff.

"Because the Tipp-Ex is still on the screen!"

The H.Dip students have brought a new "buzz". They monopolise the staff computer, getting classroom notes ready for the visit of their supervisor. But they are not responsible for the TippEx!

At the recent staff meeting to discuss such important items as the timing of the Christmas tests, they were very vocal. Older hands sat in stunned silence. "What happened to the old rule that you had to be a member of staff for a minimum of three years before you could open your mouth?" growled Joe.

Paddy is beginning to think seriously about taking the early retirement package before Christmas.

"Arrah there are a few good years left in you yet," ventures the Kerryman. "You could easily get by with a few more videos and a locker full of handouts."

The riposte is sharp and sweet. "I would prefer if you could negotiate an acre of land for me near Killarney so I could build a B&B."

The Kerryman is stung; it's no secret he doesn't spend his time off correcting copies!

The banter is interrupted by a timid knock on the door. Mick opens it ready to devour whoever has dared interrupt his few minutes of relaxation and a freshly made cup of coffee.

"There is no teacher in class 1Z Sir."

Mick, who took the longest way round to get to class 1Z three times a week, is impressed. "Who told you where the staffroom was?"

"You did Sir, when we toured the school on our first day here."

Mick is stumped. "Go back and tell them I'm coming, and if I hear any noise I will keep the whole class in 'til 4.30 p.m.'.

Little does Mick know class 1Z has christened him "greyhound" on account of the speed at which he leaves school when the bell goes. So the first-year student is in no hurry to bring the news back to the classroom.

The 4.30 p.m. threat was worth a chance, and there was always the danger that class 1Z might shoot the messenger!