Loneliness is not something we tend to associate with children. Wails of boredom all right, but we usually think of kids as a mass of boisterous noise - plenty of company there, surely?

However, a significant number of children call Childline every year complaining of loneliness. A study, which will be presented at the annual conference of the Psychological Society of Ireland this Saturday, shows that only children, in particular, report feeling lonely.

There are all sorts of myths surrounding only children - they're spoilt, bossy, self-absorbed and their parents are too selfish to give them siblings. The evidence to support any of this is hard to find. As for loneliness, most parents of only children describe them as exceptionally outgoing: "My house seems to be part-time home to every kid in the area," one parent comments.

Dr Aine de Roiste is a psychology lecturer in the department of social studies at Cork IT and the author of the report on lonely children. "There is very little research into loneliness among children," she says. "There is a bit going on in the US which shows similar patterns to what we have been finding here, although the instance seems to be lower in Ireland. Children who suffer least from loneliness are those who have two siblings. "As to why only children report a higher degree of loneliness, it is only possible to speculate at the moment. It could be that their social skills are lacking, or it may be that their expectations of other children are too high and they are jumping into friendships anticipating all sorts of things."

Children regularly call Childline to talk about their feelings of loneliness. "These can be children phoning because the siblings have gone off for the weekend, and it can be children who have very little self-esteem who find it very hard to socialise," says Cian O Tighearnaigh of the ISPCC, which runs Childline.

Yet parents do not seem to be raising loneliness as a problem. Neither the National Children's Resource Centre, the National Parents Council nor Parentline have a significant number of calls from parents worried their children feel alone.

"Loneliness is regarded as an adult problem," O Tighearnaigh says. "Children tend to have a all sorts of company, and we can't imagine they suffer loneliness. In fact, even at a birthday party where there are plenty of other kids, a child can feel isolated." Loneliness is not something we tend to talk very freely about in Ireland. It is regarded as a sign of failure and an indicator of a pretty dull person. If you don't have enough company - both friends you can talk intimately with and those you have plenty of fun with - there must be something wrong with you.

De Roiste believes children quickly pick up on what is considered acceptable and what isn't. "Children may feel ashamed of feeling lonely. They may also feel they shouldn't burden their parent with any more worries. It may simply be that they don't know how to express their feelings."

The incidence of loneliness among only children is significant, but not high. So says Margaret Quinn, a counselling psychologist, mother of one grown-up child and a consultant with Parentline. "From both my personal and professional experience, only children make a bigger effort to make friends and they socialise quite well," she says. "If they didn't, the only company they'd have at home would be their parents. "Naturally there will be times of loneliness for only children, but, on the positive side, they learn to manage being alone and can build up a quality of self-sufficiency."

If children express feelings of loneliness, it is important to listen, Quinn adds. "Take them seriously if they say they feel lonely. But don't project your own fears on to them. "Parents of only children can feel pangs of guilt and feed into all sorts of myths. The fact is all children will feel lonely at times - even children from a big family go off and cry alone. The main thing is to see each child's experience as unique, listen to him or her, and provide opportunities for company."

How children cope with loneliness varies from child to child, de Roiste says. "Some children behave in attention-seeking ways, others become quite withdrawn. In later life, loneliness can lead to depression and addiction, she notes; tackling it earlier on would help prevent problems like these.

"We will be continuing our research into loneliness and we would like to develop a pack which tackles issues around loneliness for use in school. Some groups of children will be more at risk - such as children in care and only children. By identifying the issues we can work towards tackling the wider problems. We need to have a greater awareness of the extent of it, how it is manifest, and what we can do to help children who feel lonely."