Property - when did you last discuss it? How unbelievably much the house down the road went for, the price of a gammy shack up the other end, how high the prices are managing to soar, will it ever level off? The country is an obsessed ocean of buy, buy, buy. But all this buying and moving is, as everyone knows, "one of the most stressful things you'll ever do". While the largest number of purchasers are single, first-time buyers, according to estate agent Kevin Seery of GWD in Dublin, "about a third of buyers are families moving on and into bigger homes".
Children crave "routine and predictability, which makes them feel secure", says child psychologist Marie Murray. Unfortunately, these are not standard house-moving ingredients. Try shock, panic, fear and financial insecurity. However much the parents are suffering, the kids are having it bad too. "How the move effects the children depends on their age, why you are moving, how far you are moving and where to," she says. "The context of the move is a key factor. Children of all ages will interpret changes in their lives by observing their parents, they will pick up on the stress and fear the move.
"Parents who are finding things tough, having difficulty with builders, packing, money - whatever it might be - should be honest with the children. They'll pick up on any white lies and might relate all the anxiety to moving house, rather than understanding it is not the new house, but something else, which is causing the problem. Assure them the new house will be great, but getting there might be pretty difficult." Children well into middle childhood may find moving quite upsetting. "They will have a whole posse of friends they have to leave behind, and it's quite a loss," Murray says. "They'll have to make new friends and break into a new clique, which can be hard. Teenagers will also be very reluctant to move away from friends, but at this stage friendships can survive the distance, they can write to each other and travel more easily.
"It would also be a good idea to let the teenagers have some sort of house-warming party with their friends, so they feel more assured about maintaining contact." Where you move also has implications, she says. "Younger children may be used to a relatively traffic-free area where they can just head out the door and play. If they move house to a busy road, while it may be a nicer, bigger house, their way of playing will be affected."
Moving can be the perfect excuse to throw out years and years of rubbish, but this is one of the worst suggestions you can make to children. "If the children want to bring all their possessions, let them," Murray advises. "They need to know what's going to be in the new house, and having all sorts of things belonging to them there will make it easier to move." Decor is another issue parents are better off being cool about. "Let them choose their own colour scheme," Murray says. "Moving can be particularly hard on teenagers, so if it's posters they want all over the walls, let them do it. It gives them a sense of having their own space."
Talking about the move, describing life in the new premises in detail - where they'll eat, sleep, how they'll get to school, and the important things in their lives - will help make the move less scary. "If possible, make a couple of trips around the neighbourhood before you move," Murray says. "Point out various things, like the local video shop, sweet shop, the park, the chippers, anything which is important to them. Show them the house, and if you can go in, show them where their room will be, where you might put certain things. Give them a sense of how it will look when it is theirs."
You might be lucky enough to move into a ready-to-use house, unpacking may take seconds and you'll be all set in an instant. On the other hand, you might be moving in on top of the builders, without running water or room to unpack; perhaps you have forgotten to budget for kitchen chairs - and find yourself living your most miserable nightmare.
Somehow turning it all into a barrel of laughs may not seem feasible, but it might make your life that bit more bearable, Murray says. "If we can't make it what we want, just let it go and turn it all into a bit of fun. It will help the children settle and feel less resentful. "Make it an adventure - pretend you're stranded somewhere so you have to live out of boxes, and instead of despairing at the lack of furniture, enjoy having picnics on the floor. Life is sometimes very chaotic, and there might be nothing we can do about it, so just go with it."
Despite all this effort, be prepared for some seriously ungrateful commentary. "Teenagers may be very negative, younger kids might start wetting the bed, but it won't last," Murray says. `Moving house doesn't have to be traumatic; if parents are aware of how hard it might be for the kids, they can help them along. Plan a bit, be prepared, and prepare them."
