Sacrificing Peppers but dreaming of greater things

Exam Diary Seamus Conboy I woke up yesterday morning to a final, pathetic election plea from a desperate local Fianna Fáiler…

Exam Diary Seamus ConboyI woke up yesterday morning to a final, pathetic election plea from a desperate local Fianna Fáiler, posted through the door in the small hours. She lay on the hall carpet, grinning, disembodied and destined for the green bin.

She can catch up with Plath, Kavanagh and Pythagoras there. As I put more exams behind me my paper mountain of study notes is gradually becoming the council's problem.

You can't blame her for trying, though - like all of us she is dreaming of greater things. Friday at last saw the end of the election campaign. Hopefully we'll soon be rid of these hideous posters of politicians and their "idle talk of the moon and the yellow river".

I casually quote Derek Mahon these days. I'm that kind of guy.

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After a hearty bowl of cereal and a hot shower I headed for the Irish Paper 2. I had problems getting in gear after sitting up until 2 a.m. the night before, watching the compulsive prison drama, Oz, on TV. I never learn.

Once I got into the exam, however, my Irish kicked in. After six years in a Gaelscoil it comes pretty naturally.

Three hours and 17 minutes of frantic penmanship later, I handed in my last Irish paper, and not without regret. I have lived with Irish for so long - now my opportunities to use it will dwindle. I plan to join the cumann in whatever university will have me. Maybe one day I'll get a job as chief maths reporter on TV3.

I got home, picked up the phone and dialled for a pizza. Then I embarked on an intergenerational expedition to the polling station - me, Mam and Mamo (my grandmother).

On the way to the station Mamo regaled us with stories of elections past. She recalled an election during the second World War when petrol was scarce and politicians went from door to door in ponies and traps, collecting punters and taking them out to vote.

Things haven't changed that much, I told her. Today they use mini-buses, and petrol is once again an endangered commodity.

I was highly amused to learn that Pádraig, my Junior Certificate brother, was asked about e-voting in yesterday's CSPE exam.

"Name one disadvantage of electronic voting", the question read. I can name two - it cost €48 million and it doesn't work.

I reluctantly parted with my ticket for the Red Hot Chili Peppers in the Phoenix Park today. It was ambitious to imagine that I could get along in the middle of the Leaving Certificate. Pádraig is going in my stead.

I will spend today in a lather over Monday's maths and geography papers. My brother, Ruairí, however, has bigger fish to fry. He's preparing for the Rainbow Certificate swimming exam on Monday. He's nine.

Tomorrow I will not forfeit my ticket to see the Dubs in Croke Park. I expect a performance worthy of champions. Hopefully Conal Keaney will realise that hurling is the only way past Westmeath this year. There are more important things in life than the Leaving.

Seamus Conboy, a student of Scoil Caitríona, was interviewed by Louise Holden