Lent is with us again. The Trocaire boxes (who didn't grow up with them?) are on the mantelpiece, the beds are being made, the telly is switched off for a few moments a day and the junk consumption has decreased.

But in this new millennium era, when shamanic experience vies for space with the great god consumerism, it's possible Lent no longer has any relevance for our children.

And whatever about its role in their spiritual lives, how to reconcile Lent with current child rearing theories is quite a challenge.

The mere idea of putting our children into a fiercely competitive situation, whereby they have to relinquish something they cherish deeply, pitting them against their peers and siblings, threatening them with eternal damnation if they fail - the whole business resonates with a sort of ideology at which most of today's parents gasp.

Nonetheless, children right across the country make an effort to give something up every year. Chocolate is a particular favourite - though the chocolate industry probably makes up for the loss as Easter Sunday dawns.

Some children decide to go to Mass every day, others to give up their favourite television programme and some decide to help out with the dishes more often. For children who stick with their objectives, there is a strong sense of achievement when the six weeks are up. Those who manage to stuff their Trocaire box, saving more than anyone else in the class, feel like winners. But what has it all to do with the phenomenal sacrifices Christ made?

According to Sister Frances, a Dominican nun who spent many years teaching at second level, the correct answer is: nothing.

Making sacrifices for Lent can be a very positive experience for children, "but it depends on their intention", she says. "If we decide to give up something in order to achieve something for ourselves, we're missing the point. People who go on diets for Lent, for example - that has nothing to do with it.

"Lent is about prayer, fasting and alms-giving. The purpose of self-sacrifice at this time is that our awareness is directed towards others, not ourselves." While most Irish children are taught all about Lent at school, their real understanding of it depends on what they learn from their parents, she says.

"If what they learn in the school is not reflected in the home, they won't have much idea of what it is really all about. But if the purpose of Lent is lived out in the home, they will have quite a deep understanding of what is going on.

"At the same time, if it is put across as something you absolutely must not fail at, the emphasis is just as wrong. It should not be seen as a competition. We need to acknowledge that we don't always come up to scratch, but that the intention to do something for others is there. "

The focus on developing an awareness of the lives of people beyond our own immediate circle is very much in line with the ethos informing the Trocaire Lenten campaign. Far from being an exploitive operation designed to squeeze pennies from guilt-ridden children, "it is about raising awareness of the causes of poverty and debunking the stereotypical ideas we have about the people of the developing world," says Annette Honan, development education co-ordinator with Trocaire.

"Feeding into guilty consciences to use children as fodder for raising money goes against the whole ethos of the organisation. We provide educational materials for schools which tell stories that illustrate real lives, in order to foster a sense of solidarity, and a sense of justice."

This year the focus of the campaign is land. "Many of the projects we're working on relate to people deprived of their land due to business interests, and even war. "In some instances, the land is being gobbled up by a wealthy minority of landlords, much of which they don't even use, while those who desperately depend on the land for their survival end up with nothing to farm, not even a place to live."

According to Frances, "putting the bit of money into the box is about trying to develop awareness of others. Giving up something like sweets means sharing the money saved, so children can actually see how their sacrifice may be of benefit to others. "Some children decide to try not to fight with their siblings or to help a bit more in the house. This is just as valuable as a way of developing a sense of the needs of others."

Of course the fights will break out, the bed will remain mysteriously unmade, and ingenious plans will be devised to get around the deprivation of sweets/chocolate/cakes/biscuits and all the other essentials. But Lent isn't a competition. As Frances assures us, "it's the effort that counts".