With his eager new team of hot shots lined up and ready for action, the Fine Gael leader rallied them for Dáil battles ahead by delivering a massive vote of confidence in the furniture, writes Miriam Lord.
Surely you mean a massive vote of confidence in the future? No. The furniture.
The Blueshirts may have returned to Leinster House after the election with 20 more deputies, but it seems there is still a dearth of talent in the ranks.
Enda Kenny was in Dublin's Merrion Hotel yesterday to announce the line-up of his reshuffled front bench. The first new addition to his shadow cabinet came as a bit of a surprise.
"I expect maximum performance from this table," boomed a confident Enda to the political correspondents, who appeared worryingly unconcerned as a seated deputy Kenny gave the shining mahogany in front of him a manly thwack.
Meanwhile, with their leader clearly signalling that being a well-polished plank is no obstacle to advancement within Fine Gael, the freshly anointed spokespeople must have begun to wonder about the standard of competition.
Indakinny didn't say what frontbench position he has allocated to the boardroom table in the Wellesley Room (although we can confidently predict that the pundits' end-of-term assessment will include the words "solid" and "steady").
This development is most worrying for former party leader Michael Noonan, who was among the eight stalwarts given the heave-ho by an uncharacteristically ruthless Kenny. Unlike the other seven - Jim O'Keefe, John Perry, Paul Connaughton, David Stanton, Dinny McGinley and the two Bernards (Allen and Durkan) - deputy Noonan is the only one of them who didn't have a specific portfolio. He was a sort of spokesman at large.
Now, after a long and distinguished political career, which has not been without its disappointments, Michael will not be pleased to hear that he has been replaced by a woodener with Queen Anne legs.
What other exciting new faces have made it on to Indakinny's "A team"? Well, there's bearded folk singer Jim "Oh Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment linger, then take me out at dawn and I will die" McCann. The first-time deputy, and now spokesman on health, should prove a big hit at future think-ins if he remembers to bring his guitar.
What's that? Sorry! Mistaken identity. The new health spokesman is actually new deputy, Dr James Reilly, a former president of the Irish Medical Organisation. But he bears an uncanny resemblance to Jim McCann all the same.
Debutant deputy Leo Varadkar is another of Fine Gael's in-house medical doctors. He's been given enterprise, trade and employment.
Then there's the nearly new, the ones who lost their Dáil seats before making a triumphant return this year. They include Michael Creed, Alan Shatter, Brian Hayes, Denis Naughten and Charlie Flanagan.
Followed by the ones who are nearly part of the furniture: Richard Bruton, Olivia Mitchell, Simon Coveney, Jimmy Deenihan (who's lining out in defence, just like he did in his All-Ireland winning days with Kerry), Phil Hogan, Billy Timmins, Olwyn Enright, Fergus O'Dowd and Paul Kehoe.
And not forgetting Michael Ring, who is in a league of his own. He got the community, rural and gaeltacht affairs gig for his selfless action during the general election, when he allowed his leader and constituency colleague, Enda Kenny, to top the poll in Mayo.
There was a polite welcome for the new team at the press conference. Passersby may have been surprised to hear three hearty cheers emerge from the room. It wasn't for Enda's new front bench, but for veteran press photographer Tom Burke, who was on his last day of active service following a fabulous 43 years in the business.
The Fine Gael leader couldn't let
the occasion pass without mention,
and as Tom was cheered to the rafters, you could see him wondering if he might be able to find space for the popular "Burkie" in his team -
next to the table without portfolio, perhaps.
Such excitement, piled upon excitement. Less than three hours earlier at Leinster House, Labour leader Eamon Gilmore announced the make-up of his new front bench. He brought his entire parliamentary party out on to the plinth to mark the occasion.
He had to bring them along because everyone had been given a job. Even his predecessor, Pat Rabbitte, has been pressed into service. He's now justice spokesman, a development which will keep Minister Brian Lenihan on his toes.
Pat did his best to stay in the background, loitering in the back row for the photocall and high-tailing it back indoors as soon as was decently possible, so he wouldn't steal any of Eamon's thunder.
Joan and Jan or Jan and Joan, the contenders for Labour's deputy leadership, maintained an equal distance from their leader's shoulder for the photographs.
Deputy Gilmore says he intends to take on the Taoiseach across the floor of the Dáil.
"Bertie Ahern has a mastery of detail," said Eamon, adding that he will be more than a match for it.
Bertie? Mastery of detail? Eamon might change his mind on that one if he cares to pay a trip to Dublin Castle today.