Jade Goody - who has been at the centre of the Celebrity 'Big Brother' race row - said she is "disgusted" with herself after watching footage of her behaviour in the house.
Following her eviction from the house last night, Jade told Big Brother presenter Davina McCall that watching the video clips of her attacks on Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty had made uncomfortable viewing.
Goody, who denied being a racist, said: "In all honesty I am disgusted with myself witnessing what I have seen. I do not approve of any of my actions and I do not approve of the words that came out of my mouth."
When Goody walked out of the house, instead of a noisy crowd she was greeted by an eerie silence after Big Brother bosses cancelled the audience in the wake of the furore.
Before filling her in on the international condemnation her behaviour has attracted, Davina told her: "You must be one of the only people in England or around the planet who had no idea of the impact that Celebrity Big Brother has had."
Davina, who shares an agent with the former dental nurse, then proceeded to question Jade over the allegations that have overshadowed her time in the house.
Jade conceded: "I look like a complete and utter nasty small person - the sort of person I don't like myself.
"I am not a racist and I sincerely, with my hand on my heart, apologise to anyone I have offended out there," she insisted.
"I am not going to sit here and try to justify myself. Yes, I said those things and they were nasty but no, I am not a racist. I do not judge people by the colour of their skin, where they come from or anything."
Jade, who did have some inkling of the race row that was raging outside the Big Brother house, pleaded with the show's producers to let her avoid the eviction night crowd.
She said she was "petrified" by the idea of facing the public, and added: "I've never been more scared in my life. I swear to that."