Fact File
Who are they? The Teletubbies
Conceived? Stratford-upon-Avon
Live? In Teletubbie Land, a secret location somewhere in Warwickshire in greenest England
Why in the news? An intensely sought-after shipment of the toys are due in this country in 10 days
Most Likely to Say: Eh, Oh everybody
Least Likely to Say: Can someone do up my zip, please?
In the beginning there were Zig and Zag. Two furry aliens from outer space whose mission was to make the world safe for TV-watching children and college-mitching students. That was before they grew up, moved on and sought bigger salaries. Enter the Teletubbies.
Hello? Or Eh Oh? as the new generation of furry aliens might inquire. Meet Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa Laa and Po, the hottest Christmas-present property since Cabbage Patch Kids, Buzz Lightyear and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Soon to be frustratingly unavailable in a store near you.
The British press has gone completely barmy over the Tubbies. They are the subject of cartoons in the Guardian. They make headline news in the Sun, and in the Times, where the media mayhem started, the programme has spawned a debate over education and children.
Columnist Nigella Lawson responded to some parents' criticism of the educational value of the programme last May, soon after Teletubbies was launched as a replacement for the popular but outmoded Playdays.
"What are parents expecting, or shouldn't I dare ask? We are talking about a programme directed at little more than infants; this is designedly pre-school, pre-nursery even, television. What is it with people that they feel they should, if only figuratively, be shoving flashcards at their offspring all the time?"
Ms Lawson's remarks may need qualifying, so for the uninitiated there follows a brief synopsis of your average episode of Teletubbies.
Each day at 7.30 a.m., and again at 10 a.m. on BBC2, the sun rises. The forms of the four aliens, complete with individually-shaped aerials, appear. For the next 22 minutes they loll around the lush, green hillocks that they call home uttering endearing inanities like "eh oh" and "big hug". Sometimes they nibble on Tubby toast or suck Tubby custard through a curly straw in the Tubbytronic Superdrome beneath their hilly playground.
The televisions in their rounded tummies play short films of children playing. Twice. The resident vacuum cleaner, Noo Noo, buzzes around. The Teletubbies dance precisely choreographed routines. They say something known as Tubby bye-bye. Thrice. The "sun" sets.
Yes sirree, a day is a short time in Tubby Land but, says Ms Anne Wood, of creators Ragdoll Productions, there is method in their madness. Months of research went into producing the programme. Ragdoll developed the idea for Teletubbies by observing children in their specially designed shop in Stratford-upon-Avon and through seven focus groups with nursery school children all over Britain. This research is ongoing. There are plans for Teletubbies until the year 2000.
As an added bonus, many adults and adolescents also feel comfortable in this world populated by these four technological babies.
This cross-section appeal - pre-schoolers adore it and trendy students go clubbing in Teletubbies T-shirts - represents manna from merchandising heaven for the BBC and the creators Ragdoll Productions.
Which is why stores all over this country are gearing up for pre-Christmas Teletubby madness. Ms Jill Tyrrell, general manager of Mentor Enterprises, which distributes the toys in Ireland, says that Operation Teletubby - the shipment of "more than 10,000 and less than 20,000" Tubby toys to Ireland - is being handled with extreme care.
"Such is the demand that we have been warned to be very, very careful," she explains. "We have heard of a certain amount of Teletubby pilfering going on. In distributing them we are being as fair as we can and shops all over the country will be getting consignments of Teletubbies."
Teletubbies, it should be known, each have their own distinct personalities and individual quirks. Like the manufactured pop band the Spice Girls, they are designed to appeal to different sections of their pre-school audience.
Po (the red one or tinytubby) likes to jump up and down a lot and zoom around Tubby Land on her scooter. She also speaks a smattering of Cantonese, perhaps the most educational element of the programme.
Tinky Winky (the purple one or talltubby) is Po's best friend and is quite fond of falling over on his back. Dipsy (the green one or madtubby) is slightly mischievous and has a special song that goes "bptum, bptum, bptum". Finally, Laa Laa (the yellow one or smileytubby) likes playing with her ball and keeping a watchful eye on the rest.
In fact, the Teletubbies are set to follow in the footsteps of the Spice Girls when they release their first record, Teletubbies Say Eh-Oh, on December 1st. World domination by the podgy ones seems imminent with the news that broadcasters in countries as diverse as Estonia, Denmark and Israel have secured the rights to the series.
And hot on the heels of the plush cannot-get-them-for-love-nor-money soft toys will come Talking Teletubby, Hug Me Tellytubby and maybe even Musical Teletubby.
Rumours that Bertie Ahern is considering purchasing Christmas gifts along the lines of Taxcuts Tubby, Zero Tolerance Tubby and Bridgebuilding Tubby are as yet unconfirmed.