'Eat up you Greens', is the chant as the party goes on a black-tie fundraising drive. Meanwhile, Bertie goes in for self-promotion, while everyone gets into a flap over opening hours. A quiet week, writes Miriam Lord
Gormley licensed to swill for the good of the greens
THE GREENS have turned into quite the social animals since getting into Government. One year on from their historic decision to enter Coalition (they celebrated with cake and a knees-up), the Greens have decided to follow Fianna Fáil's example and hold an annual black-tie National Ball.
The event, which "is hoped to become the annual highlight in the Green Party fundraising calendar", takes place on November 1st in Carlow's Lord Bagenal Hotel.
Tickets are priced at €80 a head for a five-course meal, with vegetarian option, and live music.
"This will be a black-tie event, so leave the sandals at home!" members are reminded in the party newsletter.
But it isn't just National Balls. In echoes of the Labour Party's dinner-with-a-minister controversy back in the days of the rainbow coalition, an advert inside the newsletter extends an "invitation to dinner in the company of Minister for the Environment, John Gormley TD, Senator Dan Boyle and Cllr Niall Ó Brolcháin". This charming candlelight occasion takes place on Friday, June 27th, in the private dining room of the Radisson SAS hotel in Galway.
And the cost of dining privately with the Minister for the Environment? A snip at €100 a plate. Green Party members can avail of a 30 per cent discount.
The previous evening, supporters of the democratic process in Kerry will have the chance to break wholemeal bread with party leader Gormley in the Brandon Hotel.
It'll only cost them €80 for the pleasure, with a 25 per cent reduction for card-carrying Greens.
Any guests who ask the Minister for a favour will be requested to leave, but not before they've paid for their ticket.
As Deputy Gormley told the Dáil on Tuesday evening: "We do not take corporate donations." So that'll mean a lot of dinners for the Minister to make up the shortfall . . .
Bertie posts his CV on the web - is he looking for tips?
WONDER did Gen John de Chastelain pay a visit on Wednesday to The Office of Bertie Ahern - launched on the interweb during the week to the sound of jaws dropping everywhere? The head of the Northern Ireland decommissioning was spotted in Leinster House, although there is scant information about the purpose of his visit. All we know is that he dropped in on a courtesy visit to Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern given that they worked together in the North when Dermot was minister for foreign affairs.
If he visited one Ahern with Northern Ireland experience, would he not have visited the other, who now fronts an operation called "The Office of Bertie Ahern" since he resigned as taoiseach.
Perhaps the general could have offered Bertie a job. He's in the market for offers, having posted his CV up on his website. If he doesn't get on the ABC guide to peace lecture tour - Ahern, Blair, Clinton — he could always check in with Pat Egan's In Person International talent agency.
The latest bulletin from "Ireland's premier suppliers of entertainers and celebrities" has a list of their top-rated speakers. Micheál Ó Muircheartaigh heads it, followed by David McWilliams, John Giles, George Hook and Matt Cooper.
In a panel detailing recent "personality appearances" we see Dustin the Turkey and a child called "Little Becky" were hired by AIB; broadcaster Ray D'Arcy did a gig for Bank of Ireland; comedian Neil Delamare made an appearance for Davy Stockbrokers; and Nick Leeson turned out for Sales Force.
Surely there must be an opening for Bertie? Particularly with the banks. As well as political anecdotes, he could dispense racing tips.
But if the after-dinner circuit doesn't appeal, we've found the perfect job for Bertie. In fact, we've a choice of two.
Last Sunday night, in an emotional farewell, Bill O'Herlihy, Eamon Dunphy and John Giles applauded Liam "Chippy" Brady as his decade as a analyst on Network 2's soccer panel drew to a close. It was an emotional occasion, matched on the other channel by the retirement from match commentary of the BBC's John Motson. Chippy gone? Motty gone? Somebody should put a call in to The Office of Bertie Ahern, quick.
Strife of Brian as Lisbon vote casts a dark cloud
AS part of the general recriminations after the Lisbon referendum, Fine Gael attacked the Soldiers of Destiny for failing to display Brian Cowen's photograph on their Lisbon posters. (Although they can hardly claim their waxwork image of Enda Kenny did much to help the cause). Fianna Fáil dismissed the notion, pointing out that the leaders' face was not displayed on referendum posters anytime in recent decades.
However, this column's spies report seeing his distinctive features on pro-Lisbon posters in Laois-Offaly. The result in Biffo's home constituency was 54 per cent in favour of the treaty and 46 per cent against, bucking the national trend. A lesson there for next time around, perhaps . . . if there is a next time.
Can we risk a next time around? A press release was rushed out by Fianna Fáil TD Michael Mulcahy in the aftermath of last month's result, headlined "Hibernia Has Spoken". Using Deputy Mulcahy as the ventriloquist's dummy?
"Ireland is lucky to have a leader of the calibre of Brian Cowen TD at this most crucial time - his task is monumentally difficult - he must faithfully represent the views of the Irish nation as voiced last Thursday, while ensuring that Ireland can stay engaged in the heart of Europe, at a level consistent with maintaining its sovereignty which is so greatly cherishes."
No pressure there, Brian.
But here is the chilling last line from Michael: "Hibernia has spoken; and anyone who would try to drown out her voice will pay a terrible price." Cripes. We hope Willie O'Dea has warned the troops.
Nothing like a good whine over opening hours
DRINK figured prominently in Leinster House during the week. The bar was packed on Wednesday night with Fine Gael lawyers, who, earlier in the evening, were treated to dinner in the members' restaurant by Enda Kenny. The waistcoated ones were in terrific form, although a party officer was at pains to point out that they don't visit too often."Not like Fianna Fáil - they have the lawyers in every week."
On Tuesday night, Martin Mansergh spoke on the Intoxicating Liquor Bill.
"When my brother was born in the Rotunda in 1941, the habit was to give nursing mothers a pint of Guinness," he informed the Dáil.
"A great idea," nodded Fine Gael's Bernard Durkan.
Junior Arts Minister Mansergh was in pensive mood. "Being able to get alcohol and other things until quite late in the evening is one of the amenities of modern life. We should not adopt over-puritanical zeal. I am reminded of Sir Toby Belch's retort to Malvolio in Twelfth Night: "Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?"
On Thursday night, Mary O'Rourke was moved to impart the following wisdom during a debate on climate change: "I didn't know whether I would be able to come to the House today. As I listened to the speakers it struck me that this was a debate in which I wished to have an input. We have had "do-good" debates for the past few weeks, including a seemingly endless debate on the Intoxicating Liquor Bill.
"Whilst I know it was very worthy, I declined to speak on it because as a person who likes a glass of wine I believe it would be hypocritical of me to lecture others on what they should and should not drink.
"For this reason I hesitated to show my face. It is not as if a glass of wine is in any way dangerous, but if one enjoys a glass it seems a little odd to lecture that others should not have one."
Outside the Dáil on Wednesday, nightclub staff, who are rarely seen out before dark, protested at proposed changes to the licensing laws which they say will have a disastrous impact on their livelihoods.
Among them was Robbie Fox, proprietor of Renards nightclub and no stranger to welcoming politicians and staff from nearby Leinster House who arrive in search of some post-pub hours relaxation.
After their Dáil contributions, Martin and Mary can expect lifetime membership in the post from Robbie any day now.
Holiday fever now sweeps the Dáil
GRAFFITI spotted recently on a wall in Washington DC incorporates the two big subjects currently exercising our politicians - intoxicating liquor and the recession.
"BEER. Now cheaper than gas. Drink, don't drive." They can debate these topics to their hearts' content next week, after which the House rises for its usual three-month break.
Actually, it's not exactly three months. The Government conceded to Opposition demands for a longer Dáil sitting by granting them an extra week, when the state of the economy will be debated. It will be interesting to see if there is a full house. Word is that many deputies booked their holidays before the extra three days - yes, three more punishing days - were added. What will these TDs do if forced to choose between speeches on the cost of living or sunbeds on the Costa del Sol?
Boots Deenihan gets them walking
Organised by Fine Gael's indefatigable Jimmy Deenihan, the Oireachtas Walk for Irish Autism Action sets off next Sunday (July 13th) at midday from Spinc Way in Glendalough.
"We are hoping for a huge turnout from members and staff of both Houses," says the former Kerry All-Ireland medal winner, who has been joined on the walk committee by Labour's Liz McManus and Senator Ivana Bacik and PD leader Senator Ciarán Cannon.
However, while deputies and senators have no problem sponsoring walkers, they are proving a little reluctant to pull on their hiking boots. "I would hope to see an annual Oireachtas walk," says Jimmy, who is a firm believer in getting people out of the House.
"We have very few events where members can get together, and while a lot of people might not be up to something as physical as a football match, everyone can walk."
It is hoped to raise €5,000-€10,00. Jimmy is also planning a Gaelic football match between an Oireachtas team and a selection chosen by actor and Boyzone singer Keith Duffy.