Sleep-deprived parents are susceptible to mood swings, memory loss, comfort eating and using substances to get through the day
IF YOU’VE EVER experienced the foggy, brain-addled world of a sleep-deprived parent where mood swings and a goldfish memory are the norm you may have found that the attitude of others can be a dismissive – “Well, isn’t that what you signed up for?” For many it is a temporary caffeine-fuelled phase, but while they are going through it, it can have a serious impact on their lifestyle, personality and ability to function at work and socially. In severe cases, it can contribute to stress-related illnesses, depression, relationship problems and even serious accidents.
The more sleep debt a person accumulates, the more they become like zombies, says Prof Jim Horne of Loughborough University in Britain who is author of Sleepfaring: A Journey Through the Science of Sleepand a frequent speaker at Irish medical conferences. "Memory starts deteriorating, you go on autopilot in the higher centres of the brain, and you are easily distracted. You become less flexible in your behaviour and stick to old routines, reacting badly to changes of plan and have fewer words so conversation becomes more stilted."
Research shows that adults need around seven hours’ sleep a night to function optimally and all it takes to become severely sleep deprived is only four hours’ sleep for four or five nights, according to Prof Horne. “Sleep debt can leave parents less able to deal with stress, making them short-tempered, grouchy and irritable in their interaction with their children, particularly if a child is being fractious.” A “great danger”, says Horne, is that they’re also prone to nodding off while driving (falling asleep at the wheel causes 10 per cent of crashes on Irish roads) or absent-mindedly pushing a buggy out onto a busy road.
Consultant clinical psychologist Dr Eddie Murphy says lack of sleep can put a strain on the parents’ relationship and have an impact on how they bond with a child. “It can be even more difficult in a single-parent family where there’s less support.”
He says sleep-deprived adults are susceptible to comfort eating and using substances to get through the day. While there are gaps in the research on this complex subject, studies indicate that prolonged fatigue can make people less able to moderate their emotions, can weaken their immune systems, and in severe cases cause hallucinations or waking dreams.
For those using coffee as a crutch to get them through the day Prof Jack James of NUI Galway, who has written extensively on the effects of caffeine, says it can increase blood pressure and agitation and actually add to stress. “Also, because caffeine-use leads to physical dependence, it is possibly never a good thing for people to drink coffee, especially when they are under stress. Due to physical dependence, people feel poorly if they are without caffeine and feel better after taking it.”
Prof Murphy believes Irish employers could be more supportive of their sleep-deprived staff, saying it would benefit long-term productivity if employers were to provide facilities for power napping.
Another answer, he says, is to establish a good bedtime routine for the child, although some are “more sensitive to noise and light and changes in temperature”. He says it’s normal for a child to awaken up to six times a night and they will cry if they haven’t learned to self-soothe. But it takes time for a child to learn this skill.
“There are different views on this subject with some believing you should respond to a child immediately when it cries. Another approach would be to learn to identify from a baby’s cry whether they’re cold, wet, hungry or just want to be lifted,” says Prof Murphy.
“If you’ve done the checklist and are satisfied they’re okay and have been fed and changed and you don’t engage with them when they cry, they will eventually drop off to sleep and over time will learn to self-soothe.”
However, not everyone agrees that this is the best approach. In the camp that believes a parent should respond to a child’s cries at night is clinical psychologist Olive Travers who says the “self-soothing” approach is “a more modern behaviourist spin” on a pre-1960s approach to child rearing.
“It involved breaking the child’s will and a belief that children were essentially bad and in need of discipline in order to be socialised. This fitted in with the philosophy that the rights of adults took precedent over those of children,” she says.
Prof Horne advocates an “unremitting” bedtime routine for young children and says it helps a baby’s body clock to develop if, at about six months, you don’t draw the curtains and let them have plenty of light when they nap during the day.
Sleep debt is not difficult to reverse. “You tend to only have to pay back a third of what has been lost and it’s amazing how quickly you can rectify it. If you can’t get a full night’s sleep, it really helps if you get someone to step in so you can take daytime naps, but they should be no more than 20 minutes. Otherwise you are going into full-blown sleep and will feel too groggy when you wake up.”
