THAT'S MEN:The thought process can shape our emotions
‘A JUG OF wine, a loaf of bread – and thou” is the recipe for happiness taken from Edward FitzGerald’s poem The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam.
There could be problems with that recipe today. I don’t suppose the health police would be too keen on the jug of wine (a glass, yes; a jug, no) and care would have to be taken that the loaf was not refined white bread but contained plenty of roughage. As for the “thou”, though, I suppose happiness might still result if he/she was willing to become the designated driver and drink water for the night.
I thought of the jug of wine and so on when considering the issue of happiness – or at least of positivity, and of how to move ourselves more in that direction. The answer, I think, is to keep it simple.
FitzGerald’s words are really part of a love poem and not meant to be a self-help recipe, but they have been seen as such by many people over the years. Moreover, his “recipe” is very much in line with the philosophy of the Epicureans, whose chief aims were the avoidance of pain and, to a lesser extent, the pursuit of pleasure and who, therefore, are worth heeding on this topic.
Contrary to their image today, the Epicureans believed in simple and achievable pleasures – no need to jet off to Manhattan for the Christmas shopping or to Lanzarote for the New Year.
I was reminded of the Epicurean philosophy when I saw some interesting research, just published in Psychological Science, which suggests that being careful what we think about can improve our level of wellbeing.
Specifically, the researchers found that people are happier if they think about time rather than if they think about money.
In one project, students on their way into a cafe on the campus of the University of Pennsylvania were stopped and asked questions. Some were also asked to unscramble sentences containing “time” words such as “day” and “clock” and others were given sentences with “money” words such as “dollar” and “wealth”. The researchers then observed what they did when they went inside.
The students exposed to “time” words tended to chat to other students either directly or on the phone. Those exposed to “money” words were more likely to study their textbooks. When they were leaving the cafe, the “money” students were less happy than those who had socialised.
As a parent, I’m much happier with the idea of the hard-working student than of the chattering student. That’s not the point, though. The key lesson is that simply focusing on the use we make of our time can increase our involvement with other people and our sense of wellbeing.
What I really like is that no complex time management techniques are required. It’s simply a matter of watching what you think about.
As this shows, and as the Epicureans would be quick to point out, we can meet many of our human needs without spending a great deal of money and without having to go to the airport.
So take a leaf out of the Epicureans’ book. Whether it’s a jug of wine or a cup of coffee with someone else, just remember that the era of simple pleasures may have returned and if so, that’s no bad thing.
LAST WEEK’S column about breastfeeding drew a strong and largely supportive response from women, and was reproduced on various breastfeeding websites around the internet.
My favourite response came from a mother who wanted to breastfeed her baby and attend the staff Christmas do at the same time. However, she was shy about breastfeeding her baby at the party, so she had her husband deliver junior in the car at feeding time, which enabled her to take a break from the party, do her maternal duty and go on having fun. It’s the best example I have come across so far of ordering a takeaway for collection.
Padraig O'Morain is a counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His book, Light Mind – Mindfulness for Daily Living, is published by Veritas. His monthly mindfulness newsletter is free by e-mail