Abusing the scalpel

TVScope: Jacky Jones, Make Me Beautiful, Please, Wednesday, April 13th UTV

TVScope: Jacky Jones, Make Me Beautiful, Please, Wednesday, April 13th UTV

This programme was another one and a half hour demonstration of female stupidity and abuse of medical science. Three women - Carol, Fay and Bernie - were selected from a number of hopefuls to have a complete makeover in Malibou, Los Angeles.

This first involved "auditioning" in their underwear and showing all their physical imperfections to five male jurors. Carol, who is 40 but thinks she looks 60, is married to Les who, according to himself: "I never told her you need your eyes done, you look ugly." In other words, wrinkles = ugliness.

Fay (26) thinks she has a witch's nose, got bullied in school and is married to Mark, who thinks she's OK as she is. Bernie (34) has spent years on diets and is married to Zack who doesn't seem bothered by her being overweight and diagnoses low self-esteem.

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All three women, when told about their selection for surgery, showed unadulterated excitement and joy. Think about that for a minute! Does the prospect of going under the knife for up to seven hours seem attractive to you?

The women fly off to LA where Bernie is going to have a tummy tuck, brow lift, cheek reduction, chin implant and porcelain veneers on her teeth costing £38,000 (€55,800). Carol is to have a chin implant, general lifting and tightening, brow lift, eyelid lift, porcelain veneers and breast reduction costing £34,000. Fay is to have a nose job, under-eye fat removal, porcelain veneers and a breast job for £34,000.

She says, "being apprehensive is really stupid". I don't think so! All surgery is to be carried out by eminent surgeons in LA, which apparently has more plastic surgeons per square mile than anywhere else in the world.

The women also see a nutritionist, Jacky, who develops a personalised plan for each person based on their need to gain or lose weight and a personal trainer "to the stars", Michael George.

The women go for their surgery and reality finally kicks in. They look like car crash victims - no disrespect to anyone in the unfortunate position of having had a real accident. This part of the programme was obscene and how any doctor can ethically stand over carrying out these procedures is beyond me. Loaded with painkillers and suppositories, they are sent home to recuperate.

One week later they see their surgeons where Fay is told, "You look wonderful." No she doesn't, she looks out of proportion. As Bernie gets staples removed from her head, she thanks her surgeon effusively. This is truly pathetic.

The next step is to see a life coach, Margaret Beck. This was the only move that made any sense. The three women all got something out of it which goes to show that a good friend is sometimes all you need. They are kitted out with new clothes by their life coach, which also makes a difference to their self-esteem.

Bernie had to go home early as husband Zack had a car crash but they all eventually meet up to show themselves off to their families. They all do look better but I think the clothes, pampering and the extra confidence is what made the big difference.

Few things are sadder than these programmes, so save yourselves €40,000, nourish your friends, go to the hairdressers now and then, walk more and you will look just as good.

Jacky Jones, is regional health promotion manager with the HSE Western Area and member of the National Obesity Task Force.