THAT'S MEN:Getting photographed naked shows confidence
WELL LADS, have you had your “dudoir” photos taken yet? I am addressing gentlemen who are due to be married shortly and who need to ensure that they are up with the latest trends.
A week or so ago I was laughing on Twitter at a report that couples in China have photographs taken of themselves naked before their wedding. No sooner had I stopped chortling than I came across an article in The Irish Timeson the subject of boudoir photographs. This is one that features naked or almost naked brides to be. No, this is not an internet speciality. Apparently the brides to be get these photographs taken as presents for their husbands to be.
I know this is true because I checked it out with a lady from Mullingar, where they have their fingers on the pulse of the nation in the way that no city slicker has.
Boudoir photographs, she informed me, are a fact of life out there in the real world. And if the man is suitably photogenic, and she emphasised the “if”, then he too has his photograph taken in the nude or nearly so. These are known as “dudoir” photographs.
It’s a fascinating idea with intriguing ramifications. For instance, having to get yourself slimmed down to look good for the camera probably boosts your health and is to be encouraged.
But what are you to do with the photographs? I suppose many people put them on the bedroom wall or even, if they are proud enough, on the living room wall. But if the in-laws are strait-laced, what do you do when you know they are about to call? Do you rush up and hide the photographs in the laundry bin? Or do you leave them there and let them like it or lump it?
What happens if you decide to renew your vows? Does this involve a new set of pictures with all the unpleasant exercising and dieting that this might now entail?
And what of the 25th and the 50th wedding anniversary? Do you get new naked photographs taken then? And the answer is: why not?
Trouble arises, I would imagine, if the couple splits up. Who gets the nude photographs? Who will be the rat who puts them on the internet?
Then there is the question of future generations. It’s a safe bet your children won’t want to see pictures of you in the nude. What will your great-grandchildren make of them, though? We are all familiar with those old Victorian photographs in which people in their Sunday best stare grimly at the camera. Future generations, by contrast, will be able to look back at great grandma and great grandad naked in the family album.
Tell you what, this isn't for me, not without a lot of work-outs – but I think it's a great idea. That's because I remember the stupid, repressed Ireland that we came out of. I remember our whole school being made to write an essay on purity because two fellows were caught reading the News of the Worldin the lavatory. I remember when missionaries raged from the pulpit against the novels of Edna O'Brien. Yes, I think this new Ireland is a better one.
So good luck to the boudoir generation. Enjoy it. And now that the IMF, the Government and the banks are taking the shirts off our backs, you have every excuse.
On an unrelated but more important matter, I notice that Australian research has shown that women who eat chocolate once a week reduce their risk of having heart problems later on in life.
More than 1,200 women were included in the research conducted by the University of Western Australia over a 10-year period, according to an article in the Archives of Internal Medicine.
Unfortunately, the study did not include men but do you think that, as a precautionary move, we should eat chocolate at least once a week anyway? Yes, I think so too.
Padraig O'Morain (pomorain@ireland.com) is a counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His book, Light Mind – Mindfulness for Daily Living, is published by Veritas. His mindfulness newsletter is free by e-mail.