Discharge dilemma: is it better to care at home?

Along with his wife and grown-up children, John (not his real name) have cared for several elderly relatives at home and they…

Along with his wife and grown-up children, John (not his real name) have cared for several elderly relatives at home and they currently face another situation where a close relative is in hospital and will need long-term care on discharge.

"We have dealt in one way or another with three grandparents. The first thing that struck us was the lack of information available to somebody who wants to or has to care for an older person at home.

"Even the simple things - like we were told we should have washed the grandfather with oil rather than with water and we only learned this in the final days, when he was in hospital," he adds. He suggests a simple thing such as a leaflet on the basics of caring for someone at home would benefit everyone in a similar situation. The emotional effects on families of caring for loved ones at home are often the most difficult.

In one case, a grandmother being cared for by John and his family was hospitalised and a decision was made that she would go into a nursing home rather than return to their home.

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The whole family was sad, but there was a "freedom" in the household at the same time, John says.

There was, of course, guilt about the decision.

"But the doctors said to us that this was the best thing to do, on balance, for the health and happiness of the family. She went to a wonderful nursing home where you could drop in day or night, make yourself a cup of tea and talk to anyone. Now we are at the stage where we have another relative who is in hospital following an illness."

The health board will have to carry out an assessment of the person's needs.

"We are just waiting to see what happens next and that's the worst bit, because everything is terribly uncertain."