Undertakers are well aware of the need for many families to keep their funerals private and can help keep the 'circus' element away from the event. Catherine Foleyreports
Some funerals have always been held in private, especially if the deceased has died in particularly tragic circumstances, such as a suicide, or if a child is to be buried.
Private funerals can suit the needs of a grieving family who are too traumatised to deal with a large group of sympathisers.
Undertakers have learned how to deal with the wishes of these families who do not want to publicise the details of the funeral arrangements and with grief-stricken individuals who want to invite only a chosen few intimate friends along with close family members.
At all costs, they want to keep the sad business of burying their loved one low key.
However, the death of some high-profile figures and their private burial arrangements this year, such as the actor Joan O'Hara, the psychiatrist Anthony Clare and the multi-millionaire businessman Tony Ryan, has drawn attention to the protection afforded to mourners by having a private burial and, inadvertently, they have perhaps drawn attention to the rise of a more intrusive, curious and voyeuristic culture.
"I can honestly tell you that there have always been private funerals," says Jonathan Stafford, of the Dublin undertaking firm Stafford Funeral Directors. He and his father, John Stafford, who retired this year after 50 years in the business, can both attest to this, he says.
But he points out that a funeral can accommodate both a private and a public element, including a public removal and a private burial the next day.
"A lot of people give an idea to their own family of what they want . . . For those in the limelight, for a lot of people in the public eye, they don't want everybody turning up at their funeral.
"Sometimes you don't want every Joe Public coming to them. But there has been no real rise in the number of private funerals," he says.
Gus Nichols, funeral director and spokesman for the Irish Association of Funeral Directors, which represents 190 members both in the Republic and the North, agrees that families have always been able to avail of private funeral arrangements, such as "when it is a traumatic situation, such as when children are involved", then, he says, "the death of a child is often private, and by invitation".
But also, he adds, "you'd have situations where they want to avoid a circus element".
And "sometimes, you might have an elderly person and they've come in and discussed it in advance and very deliberately they've said they want it in private," explains Nichols.
But, he points out, in many cases, this may not be what the family wants, and adds that the reason why individuals want a private funeral is difficult to understand.
"Some people do withdraw from society, they don't take part, they are very introverted but as to why [ they want to be buried privately], your guess is as good as mine," he says.
"Often it may be a surprise to the family . . . They scratch their heads and tell people anyway."