ASK THE EXPERT:Help her to break down what needs to be achieved, writes David Coleman
MY DAUGHTER is going to be doing her junior cert this summer. She has her mocks at the moment and she is so stressed I am afraid she is going to crack. If it is this bad now what can I do to help her before the real exams?
EXAM anxiety is really common. Indeed many of us feel worry, stress or fear before any test. Think of your own driving test experience.
For many teenagers it is an anticipatory anxiety, ie a worry about something that is unknown. The junior cert is the first State exam a child has so no student has a clue about the experience of sitting in the exam hall.
Sometimes it is a fear of failure that piles on the stress (often mediated by the child's own expectations or the expectations of others). Sometimes it is stress related to the volume of work to be covered and feeling over- whelmed and under-prepared.
It is important to feel some level of stress. A little bit of stress acts as a motivator and without it we may end up being too laidback to the point where we wouldn't bother doing anything. So a small amount of stress is helpful. The key is not to let it get too great because too much stress becomes counter productive.
No matter what the source of the stress and anxiety the experience of it will be the same. Adrenalin is released when we get stressed and this puts our heart rate up, increases the rate of our breathing and leads to muscle tension or that feeling of a knotted-up stomach.
Once our bodies start feeling stressed it affects our mood and our thinking and the whole experience becomes a bit circular. The more we worry, the more stressed we feel and then the more it will give us a sensation of worrying. Our thinking too becomes a little less rational and tends to zone-in or become uni-focused.
Dealing with anxiety takes a number of avenues. For your daughter you first need to help her understand the source of her worry or stress. If it's fear of failure it may be possible then to lower or clarify expectations for her so that she feels more able to achieve the expected outcome.
If the task of preparing and studying is overwhelming then between now and the exams you can help her break down what needs to be achieved so that she has clear targets for what to cover each week.
Study plans (timetables of study) are a good idea because once it is all written down it can be very reinforcing to put a line through what has been done and see your progress building towards the exam. Get your daughter to set realistic targets for how long she will study and break down each study session into 20-minute segments with a five-minute break in between.
If it is fear of the unknown then practising with past exam papers will lower that anxiety as will the experience of the mock exam where hopefully
the exam hall layout will have matched the way it will be laid out in the summer.
There is also a range of different ways to relax that will help with the physical sensations of stress and anxiety and that in turn will have a positive knock-on effect in felling less stressed or worried.
The easiest one to explain and to try is abdominal breathing. Also called deep breathing, this is where you deliberately slow down the speed at which you breathe in and out and try to get the breath as deep into your lungs as possible.
Breathe deeply by imagining trying to expand your ribcage at the base, just above your abdomen. Count to four as you breathe in, hold your breath for a count of one and then breathe out over another count to four. As you practise you will be able to breathe slower and slower. This kind of exercise will allow your daughter to get back control of her heart rate and breathing and that will reduce her sensation of the physical stress. You could also suggest that she follow one of the many guided meditation tapes that are available.
Exercise and diet are also really important for your daughter to help her feel more in control of her anxiety and stress. Eating well and regularly and getting outdoors every so often will also counteract the negative physical effect of the stress and improve her mood.
Finally, I'd suggest that if you have access to the internet that you and she log on to www.skool.ie for lots more information and advice about the exams.
• David Colemanis a clinical psychologist and the author of a book on parenting called Parenting is Child's Play. He has also presented two series of Families in Trouble on RTE television. He is currently working on a new series, called 21st Century child, due to be broadcast next month.
• Readers' queries are welcome, but David Coleman regrets he cannot enter into individual correspondence. Questsions should be e-mailed to healthsupplement@irish-times.ie