THE BIGGER PICTURE: When asked, most people will tell you what kind of person they are, what they believe in, and how they see the world. However, in this day and age, it seems quite a challenge to live our lives reflecting these values.
Examples of this are commonplace. Many people will say that their families are of most importance to them. Yet demands from work continuously force them to make spending time with their families secondary to spending time on the job. Others will quickly tell you, if you don't have your health, you don't have anything. Yet they will struggle to stop smoking or exercise.
Then, there is "happiness". I can't find a single person who would say that being happy is second or third on their list of life goals. Yet, very few people in today's society would readily label themselves as satisfied, joyous, fulfilled or even relaxed.
We have all been pushed up against an external economic agenda, and all too often that agenda neither respects our fundamental qualities as human beings, nor provides something productive for us. As a result, most of us live our lives dodging bullets, struggling to hold on to self worth and pandering to unreasonable requests. We find ourselves in a battle which results in several casualties. We lack time and space to live true to what is really meaningful to us. We are dying of stress and complex chronic diseases, and we are losing hope.
When we try to do things according to our real values, and counter to the capitalist prescription (and many of us do try for the sake of our own mental health), we find ourselves struggling. We tend to take several more years than we would otherwise, to establish our career or support ourselves financially. Some of us continue to struggle, feeling like we may never sustain ourselves. Others give up altogether, changing paths and considering for the first time that freedom is unattainable.
The message given to you when you try to do things differently is clear: you are a dreamer, impractical, naïve and inconsiderate of those around you. You carry on worrying about whether you have made bad choices, and internalise that the problem is yours.
Nothing could be more wrong. The problem lies squarely with the dominance of an exploitative agenda in our society. It has undermined our creativity, support mechanisms and sense of significance.
In truth, even though we face criticism, every time one of us makes a decision to live a life more rationally and to be ' respectful of each other, all those around us are able to breathe easier and feel more hope - and hope, after all, is the fuel for our own great imaginations. We are social animals, and as such, we both respond to and need the acceptance and appreciation of others. Just as peer pressure can be an incredibly strong, negative force upon us, peer support can be profoundly constructive.
The coercion to live our lives in line with some fairly twisted and unhealthy principles is strong. Marketing and advertising projects (attending only to profit) suggest to us that satisfaction is achieved by those who prescribe to their agenda, thereby gaining access to an abundance of resources, attention and praise.
Their weapons are psychological, aimed at challenging the core of our self image, worth and interconnectedness. No wonder we feel awful, even like failures, when we try to act outside this. However, far from failing, the ability to insist on hope and stay committed to what really matters is truly something to be proud of.
Prioritising our values is not easy. It requires an exercise of our character: courage, determination, patience and love. We will inevitably face places where we feel insecure - be it about money, our contribution, our inherent value, or our likeability. We will need to trust in our goodness and intelligence (always important). And, we will need to use our skills and experience to develop all our available resources to the best of their potential.
It is important that each one of us succeed. It is possible to live great lives - full of creativity, fulfilment, sufficient resources and deep social connections - without losing sight of what is loving and ethically correct.
Ideas that are human and make sense will work. Like any good idea, they will need our commitment, strategic planning and action to achieve them. Most importantly, the key to all successes is partnership and cooperation. When we can open ourselves up, listen, learn, trust and work together, we can create anything. Thus, our ability to connect to each other will define our successes. Getting our real values into our lives creates opportunities for time, space and freedom for what really matters to us. Nothing is greater than that.
Shalini Sinha works as a life coach and counsellor and presents the intercultural programme Mono on RTÉ Television. She has a BA in comparative religion and anthropology and an MA in women's studies.