Eugene Donohoe and his ex-wife share parenting of their 13-year-old son, Mark who spends alternate weekends and time each week with each parent.
"Mark has two homes and three sets of friends, including school friends," says Eugene. "We do normal father and son things, he's musical, he plays the tin whistle, the guitar, we go to movies, play music and watch television together. We are part of each other's day. The parenting arrangements have changed over time, and now that Mark is older there's a lot more collaboration with him."
A family therapist, he is one of the authors of When Parents Separate: Helping Your Children Cope. When his marriage ended 11 years ago, both parents were committed to supporting each other in an ongoing relationship with their son. "The benefits for everyone are huge. They include a positive relationship with your child, which research supports is particularly important for boys, and allowing him to have a good relationship with both parents. A bonus for parents is that each gets time off to pursue other interests.
"It's more difficult at the beginning, you're dealing with a lot of loss. I was helped by family, friends and workmates, and the belief that I had a part to play. I am still single, up to now, my energies have gone into my relationship with my son, but happily I have met someone this year.
"Breaking up is very upsetting and can set up a chain reaction. But if you've a child to take care of, that must be your focus. Kids really need you to be strong, to do the right thing by them.
"For me it's both personal and political. Shared parenting should be the gold standard, though I know from my own work, some parents need support.
"Our job as parents is to keep our children safe and love them to bits."