MIND MOVES Marie MurrayOnce the Easter holidays are over and school has resumed, the time to the Leaving Cert can be counted in weeks. This brings a stark reality to what was previously, for many students, a more distant dread. Not surprisingly, tensions at home and at school can increase exponentially. How this remaining time to the Leaving Cert is managed is important, both in home relationships and in mental health terms.
For some students the adrenaline of time limits may be just the required motivator. It is as if a mental alarm goes off that says to the student "start now, the clock is ticking" and so they do. Parents may note with relief that, at last, the student is making an appropriate commitment to studies given the time available to the exam.
For these students, anxiety about the exam becomes identifiable concerns about specific academic subjects. This, in turn, is translated into precise tasks: books to be read, notes to be put in order, essay topics to be completed, past exam papers to be read and information to be acquired and memorised. In this way, once generalised anxiety becomes a specific problem to be tackled and solved, it is transformed psychologically into a manageable project that brings instant psychological relief. With a study plan, a time in which to achieve it and a commitment to do so, students know they are back in control. Anxiety no longer controls them. They control their anxiety.
But for other students, adrenaline may not bring appropriate motivation. It may have the opposite effect of drowning them in dread, so that they are unable to study. Students may feel so overwhelmed by all that has to be done that they are unable to do anything at all, except worry. Worry is not conducive to study. The less the student is able to study, the greater the worry becomes. A vicious recursive escalating cycle of worry/no study, then more worry/less study is begun. For these students, foreboding may become panic. Startled in the approaching headlights of the exams they become immobilised. This requires sympathetic intervention to unlock students from the paralysis of this self-defeating fear.
The first step is to recognise that immobilising dread is usually beyond students' capacity to extract themselves from it. Immobilisation is complex. It can be misconstrued as laziness, obstruction, opposition, defiance or refusal to appreciate the realities of time left and tasks to be done.
Parents are well aware that "I told you so" is never a helpful response; regardless of whether or not students were warned regularly that if they did not adjust their attitudes or behaviours earlier in the year, this panic stage might be reached. But it can be worrying for parents to find the appropriate, effective and most rapid way to respond now for the student's sake.
These questions may help. What are the factors that have made this student unable to cope in the first place with the demands of this, their final year in school? Are there developmental issues, such that emotionally, intellectually or psychologically the student has not yet reached that stage of development necessary for this exam? Are other factors intruding? Do parents know what they are? Has the student formed a dependence on alcohol or other substances? Have events during the year - loss, accident, injury or illness - caused problems? Is the student fearful of the future?
What belief does the student have about his or her capacity to succeed and what record of school achievement or difficulty supports this? Does the student have the required academic ability? If not, do expectations need to be altered to more realistic ones? What do the teachers think? Are there friends to encourage and support? Having comrades in adversity is an important psychological prop at this stage and a student without school friends may be feeling distressed or depressed.
Parents also often find it useful to ask students what parental supports would assist: would they like help getting organised, clearing a quiet space for study, assistance with a study plan, money to buy abbreviated revision books, a grind in a difficult subject, a visit to the doctor if they cannot sleep?
Finally, what adolescents say that they do not want are platitudes such as "don't worry, you'll be fine". These close down conversation and prevent students articulating their fears. Instead, supportive talk can clarify what is wrong: "You seem a bit fed up. It must be hard feeling you have to compete for points. This is a difficult time for you, isn't it? Do you think the stress is getting to you? Is it making study/concentration/
remembering things difficult? Is it making you tired? Is it stopping your sleep? What do you need? How can we help?" A sympathetic discussion shows respect for students' feelings, helps parents judge if the student might need professional help and is an important way to communicate parental love and support.
mmurray@irish-times.ie
Further information in Surviving The Leaving Cert: Points for Parents, published by Veritas.