The Bigger Picture:What really brings the wonder into Christmas are the values that are part of it. In this way, the "magic" (for me) has not come necessarily from the fantasy of (and faith in) Santa, but in what happens when those values are brought into action, writes Shalini Sinha
Of course, Christmas doesn't have a monopoly on those values. They didn't spark into existence with the birth of Jesus. Rather, they have been around a long time, are relevant to the whole of humanity, and make sense in every season and at all times of the year. However, Christmas truly does embody those values.
More relevant than the Christmas gift lists, shopping, cakes and lights is how we can put those values into action. This is what brings real joy and fulfilment into life.
The values of Christmas are not easy to enact. Doing so takes risk and courage. It takes faith and fearlessness. They are values of giving, connecting and demonstrating compassion in the most difficult circumstances.
Thus, they are not about what is easy to share, with those it is easy to share with. They are about affecting the current balance of goodness and selfishness in favour of goodness; changing the world and having faith that we won't be hurt by doing so.
Enacting such powerful values takes planning. Indeed, it's reckless to force ourselves to be exceptionally bold and giving without taking steps to make sure we also have access to resources alongside. Doing so leaves too many casualties and cannot be sustained. It does not give us the chance to put a community into action, and creates cynicism.
I see a lot of people who try very hard to give things one way, until they finally give up or run out of steam. When we "burn out", our health is affected, our voice is lost and our community diminishes in strength.
What gives us "protection" from being hurt is not hiding ourselves away, ignoring the struggles of others, or choosing to be uninvolved. When we look the other way and only after ourselves, we narrow our vision of life and love. What will protect us, however, is access to support that nourishes, strengthens and fights with us when things become really difficult.
For me, the key here is taking turns. If we do not receive, we cannot continue to give. If we expect of ourselves to give continuously without receiving in return, it cannot be sustained.
On the other hand, if we can build a community that regularly gives and so receives within itself, each person will have enough resources, strength and courage to give generously, fairly and compassionately when things get most difficult. Indeed, it takes more courage to ask for help than to offer it.
What's clear here is that generosity is not just about "charity" - one-way assistance to another - but something you also sometimes offer within yourself. Opening your self up, sharing and showing parts of yourself takes love and grows love. Furthermore, it takes faith to believe that a person might acknowledge their own difficulties and take responsibility for moving themselves forward.
It is much more likely someone will be able to do this if the goodness in her/him is recognised and endorsed. It is also more likely someone will do this when they are met with an expectation that they can and that it's their job to do so. Care-taking - out of the hands of the one concerned - is often more debilitating than mobilising.
Given that we are each human, with our own struggles, it's reasonable to understand we will get hurt from time to time. Moving on from this experience requires us to draw on our resources and re-open our hearts. This is what nurtures true strength.
Values are the key to our lives and what should drive our decision-making and behaviour - not to make us "morally superior" but only because doing so nourishes our soul and simply makes us happier. It's amazing how we might need to be reminded to consciously consider nourishing our souls during this time of year. Most of the focus for people involves nourishing (or doing damage to) their bodies, as well as luxuries, comforts and "wish" lists. What nourishes the soul, however, comes from a completely different frame of mind. It comes from what isn't easy, but is meaningful. It is our deeply connected human values.
I would like to wish everyone - Christian or other beliefs, practising or not - the very best of magic and spirit in this season.
My own wish for the coming year is this: an end to critical and poor treatment of each other and a growth in the resources available of love, sharing and support. May we all contribute to that growth now.
Shalini Sinha works as a life coach for clients in Ireland and internationally, and practises the Bowen technique. www.shalinisinha.com