Make sure the presents under the tree are suitable for your child's age and development
THE OVER-LOADED trolleys being pushed around toy superstores herald the collective madness that descends on parents in the run-up to Christmas.
Although many of us agree that our children have far too much, nobody wants their child to be disappointed on the big day. So we fret about our choices and stockpile presents. Meanwhile, the "Santa lists" grow as children are bombarded with persuasive advertising.
"We are spending money on children because we feel guilty and are time-poor," says Irene Gunning, the chief executive officer of IPPA, the Early Childhood Organisation. "It is hard for parents. They don't feel they are being good mums or dads unless they buy the most expensive things for their children."
If you know your child well, you will know his/her heart's desire and should be guided by that. However, in today's world of instant gratification, she says: "Half the time children don't even develop a heart's desire; they have all the things before they even know they want them.
"Passion means you have to wait a long time until you get something and when you do, it's wonderful. Why do we take that away from children?'' asks Gunning.
Although she hopes the recession is an opportunity for concentrating on the rituals rather than the excesses of Christmas, gifts will have to be bought.
"The best toys are not always the toys you see on the Late Late Show," she points out. Ones that look best in front of the camera perform with a buzz and a flash. "They do all the playing themselves and the amusement is short term."
"Open-ended" toys may lack the "whiz-bang" effects, but they are not only much more valuable for a child's development, but will appeal for a lot, lot longer.
"Lego and traditional blocks don't look like anything in their own right, until the child starts to play with them," says Gunning. "The playing is all left to the child."
Child therapists Valerie Cribben and Kate Lamb of the Lucena Clinic, a child and adolescent mental health service, want parents to stop and think about what they're buying this Christmas. Although they work with children who have particular problems, they think all children could benefit if their parents took time out in the seasonal stampede to reflect on choosing appropriate toys.
There is no need to go overboard on the spending. It is often the simpler, cheaper toys that will have the most value for a child.
You can't get much simpler than a wooden stick, which was inducted into the US National Toy Hall of Fame in New York earlier this month. The all-purpose toy, which can do anything from duel with an enemy to draw in the sand, was chosen for the fun it has brought children everywhere. It's a plaything limited only by its owner's imagination.
Granted, if you were to wrap a stick and put it under the Christmas tree, you might be greeted with a crestfallen little face. But other iconic toys in the US collection, such as the baby doll, skateboard, bicycle, the yo-yo and Monopoly, are all perennial favourites.
"We are trying to encourage parents to look at the toys they are buying for Christmas, and to make sure they are appropriate for their child's development, rather than just the toys that are being advertised on television," says Cribben who, with Lamb, is joint manager of the Lucena Clinic's occupational therapy department.
"Look at your child's ability and the potential of the toy and match the two. Some toys have incredible potential and allow the children to be really creative in all they do."
Lamb adds: "Remember there are lots of toys and games available that are very valuable to children for their development and to enhance their skills in certain areas."
In all types of play, the "doing" is the important thing rather than the end product. Cribben and Lamb want parents to realise there are many aspects to play and development and that different toys cater for different developmental needs.
Focusing on the under-10s, they put toys into various categories for a public workshop entitled Be a Clever Santa, at the Lucena Clinic in Rathgar last week. These include:
Fine motor skills/hand-eye co-ordination:Toys such as Lego and Meccano, hammer and pegs, finger-paints and bead sets develop these abilities. Lamb recommends easels or black/white boards up on a wall to allow children to paint, draw or write standing up, which improves not only their balance and their mobility, but also develops the pencil grip in young children.
Gross motor or large body movements:Bicycles, scooters, basketball and other sports games get children on the move and improve their physical co-ordination. If you have a child who does not have great balance, consider buying a bike without pedals (see below), or remove them from a conventional bike so they will learn to push with their feet. The other option is to look for a scooter with two wheels at the back that will give better stability.
"Remember the social importance of outdoor play for all children," says Cribben, as well as the health benefits.
Creative play:Card making, clay modelling, glass painting, glueing and pasting, sponge and finger painting are examples of creative activities that are enabled by simple art and craft kits.
"I think when people go into the shop they don't look for that stuff," says Lamb. "They don't think of those things and they are so simple and so rewarding. I think they are great presents." Cribben believes they are great for boys as well as girls. It is a great way of building confidence and boosting self-esteem when a child produces something he or she can show to everybody.
Planning and social skills: Puzzles and board games, playing with dolls and cars - all these activities encourage social skills. Some children find making a plan and carrying it out difficult and toys such as these can help.
"From the social skills point of view, playing board games with other children and learning to interact, take turns, win and lose, is very important," says Cribben.
According to Lamb:"Children need to be given the opportunity to practise those skills, and they will only get that if they have a variety of toys and games available to them, rather than just going with the fashionable, which aren't necessarily going to enhance and develop the skills."
Imaginative:Children also learn social skills, as well as life skills, through play acting - doing the cooking and the cleaning, putting dolly to bed, playing with cars, garages and castles.
"These are toys that allow children to become involved, to let their imagination run free," says Cribben. "They are not necessarily being held just by the reality but are able to develop stories."
If they are doing this sort of play with other children, they then learn how to accept changes in rules. "If children are playing alone a lot of the time, they don't learn those skills," explains Cribben. "They don't learn that ability to go with the change of rule. Where a child has that difficulty, it can be very hard for them to be out on the road playing with other children if suddenly the rules change and they are not able to accept those changes."
Other categories include books and computer games which, Cribben and Lamb believe, have a place. However, problems arise if a child becomes fixated and isn't able to move on to other things.
There is no type of toy that they say should be avoided, provided they are appropriate for the child. You should not buy something a child is not going to be able to master.
"While it is good for a game to be challenging, if it is beyond the reach of a child, it can lead to frustration," says Cribben.
It's about knowing your child's capabilities and interests. Despite the temptation to run with the herd and scoop up some of the "top 10 toys for Christmas", nobody knows your child like you, so go with your instinct. Be confident that you are making the right choice.
The final words from Valerie Cribben are: "My experience would be that Santa does knows best."
Flying without pedals
BICYCLES HAVE been a popular children's Christmas present for years but ones without pedals may appear under some trees in Ireland this year.
Designed for children aged about two to five, they dispense with the need for stabilisers. They should also save you having to run around the park holding on to the back of a wobbling saddle while your child tries to master a two-wheel bike.
With a pedal-less bike, children learn the art of balance easily as they propel themselves around with their feet on the ground. By the age of five they should be ready to graduate to a conventional bicycle without a bother.
Mark Girling discovered this kind of bike when his son Luka was given one by a relative while they were living in Germany, soon after he had learnt to stand and walk a few steps.
"Not long after, the possibility of a family walk, where we all propel ourselves independently in the same direction, at the same pace, became a reality," he said. "If the bike ever became impractical on a shopping trip, I could easily take the bike in one hand, my child in the other."
Girling was so enthused about these bikes that, after moving to Thomastown in Co Kilkenny, he decided to start importing them. Trading under the name FlyABike, he sells three different types, all priced at €95 each, plus €15 delivery charge.
One happy customer is Nick Wilkinson of Annamoe, Co Wicklow, who recently bought one for his two-year-old son Jasper. "He had been playing with a friend's one and loved it." Living in a rural area, Wilkinson says the wooden bike is not as restrictive as a tricycle; a child can cover uneven ground with it much more easily. "The wooden bike has bigger rubber wheels which are better for forest tracks."
See www.flyabike.wordpress.com
Wooden it be nice: playing safe for the environment
It was only when Jody Dillon and his Corsican-born wife, Melanie Rouleau, had their first child, Leah, that they realised the sort of toys they wanted did not seem to be available in Ireland.
The vast range of plastic toys stocked in the big shops did not appeal to them. "They're all very heavily branded and designed to last a very short amount of time," says Dillon.
It was their search for a wooden train set for Leah when she was two that proved to be a turning point. "We could only find them on UK websites, who wouldn't ship here or charged a fortune."
They saw it as a gap in the market and brought in some wooden toys from the Continent, which they put on eBay to gauge demand. The response encouraged them to look more seriously into the prospect of starting a business selling wooden toys. "Our initial concern was that wooden toys are plain and quite traditional," says Dillon.
But they soon found that there are manufacturers on the Continent who have brought wooden toys to a new level, combining their traditional charm with modern flair.
As well as the play value of these traditional toys, their eco-friendly nature also appealed. "Nearly 10 per cent of oil production goes into making plastic," points out Dillon. "Yet plastic toys don't last as long as ones coming from natural, renewable sources."
In March 2007, they set up woodentoys.ie, which Rouleau runs full-time from home in Kilpeddar, Co Wicklow, while Dillon continues his day job as an engineer with EirGrid. Leah, now aged five, and her two-year-old sister Noémie are only too happy to try out new products. www.woodentoys.ie
Tidy up time
Toy management is an important ritual in the run-up to Christmas.
Children will be enthusiastic helpers if the task is presented in a particular way, advises Irene Gunning of the IPPA.
"Tell your children they have to clear up their bedrooms and make room for new toys if Santa is going to come. Involve them in deciding what they want to give or throw away. This is a way of getting children involved in thinking of others and recycling."
Another useful thing to remember, says Kate Lamb of the Lucena Clinic, is that if a child gets a lot of toys for Christmas, some of them can be put away and brought out in January, February, March. That means the child is getting new playthings all the time.
They sell a wide range of developmental toys, ones to stimulate the senses of very young children as well as develop hand-eye co-ordination and motor skills among slightly older ones. There are ride-on toys and props for role play and for imaginative play, such as the classic dolls' houses and castles, as well as their "speciality" wooden train sets.
Dillon likens much of what they sell as the equivalent to the content of "granny's toy box": classic, long-lasting toys with enduring appeal.
Already doing 10 times as much business this year as last year, he is not unduly worried about the recession. In recent weeks they have launched a second website, softandcuddly.ie, to sell traditional teddy bears and high quality furry animals.
"The growth areas are anything to do with babies and anything to do with renewable energy and the environment. I think parents are much more aware of the impact of parenting choices on their children now," he adds. "They are paying more attention to what they are giving their children and what's good for them from a developmental point of view."
