THAT'S MEN:Don't let a negative person drag you down
SOME YEARS ago I met a manager who had been puzzled by the disappearance of good humour among the workforce. So far as he knew, nothing had changed that could account for this, but when he asked around, he quickly came to the source of the problem.
A new chef had been employed in the kitchen. This man was a master of bitterness, anger and bullying behaviour. The catering staff had become upset and unhappy. Through them, that upset and unhappiness had spread itself throughout the workplace. Luckily, the chef was still on probation and could be sent off to spread misery somewhere else.
Emotional contagion is at work in your life and mine in all sorts of ways. If you go, perhaps reluctantly, to a party and have a great time, you are enjoying the benefits of emotional contagion.
On a negative level you might find yourself wearing a sad face and generating negative feelings at the funeral of somebody you didn’t actually give a damn about – the sadness of other people has infected you.
This works even at the level of a couple. One study showed that if you put two people sitting facing each other silently, the person who is most physically expressive influences the mood of the other person. If you like you can try this out on the train, but don’t bother calling me as a witness when the court case comes up.
This kind of contagion also operates in families, naturally enough. If a few people are slumped watching TV and one is clearly wallowing in gloom, the others are likely to feel fairly dark as well. If you are sitting opposite somebody at work who is very cheerful, then you are more likely to be cheerful.
I've been reading about all this in a recent issue of The Psychologistin a fascinating article by Peter Totterdell, Karen Niven and David Holman of the University of Sheffield. Some months ago, scepticism was expressed at claims that the happiness or unhappiness of somebody far away whom you have never met could actually influence your own happiness, and the claims might, indeed, have been stated too strongly.
But Totterdell and co have come up with plenty of evidence to suggest that you and I live in what we might call “emotional neighbourhoods”, in which no man (or woman) is an island and in which we influence each other in all sorts of unspoken ways.
For instance, teams, both in sports and at work, can take on a collective mood. That mood, interestingly, isn’t necessarily linked – though of course it can be – to anything that’s happening in the external world. Remember how the England team in the World Cup seemed almost to be in a collective trance from the very first game, a point at which their hopes should have been high? And some readers, I’m sure, have been in teams at work which remain glum, regardless of whether they are paid well or badly and regardless of how their business is doing.
Luckily, extroverts and energetic people are good at changing the mood of groups of people for the better – so that cheerful person in your workplace should be cherished. In fact, within most social networks you will find people who, as the Sheffield researchers put it, “mitigate the toxic emotions of others”. Not that the toxic ones necessarily feel gratitude.
In light of all this, I found it interesting that the Salvation Army is introducing what it elegantly calls “animateurs” into some of its homeless services. Animateurs are people who organise activities that cheer up other people and give them fulfilling or interesting things to do. If you look around your extended family or workplace, I bet you’ll be able to identify the “animateurs” who brighten the day and lift everyone’s mood.
Next time you see your local animateur, flash a big grin. It’s the least you can do.
Padraig O'Morain (pomorain@ireland.com) is a counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His book, Light Mind - Mindfulness for Daily Living, is published by Veritas. His monthly mindfulness newsletter is free by e-mail