That's men for youI wonder how many gay men cringe when they see camp depictions of gayness on Coronation Street or on some of Graham Norton's shows?
I am not suggesting that these depictions are invalid or, heaven forbid, that Graham Norton is not real. However, it seems to me that the camp image of gay people has hijacked reality.
Camp gay people there certainly are, and that's fine. But if camp- ness is depicted by the media as the predominant expression of gayness, then where does that leave the majority of gay people who are not camp and who do not want to be seen as camp?
For instance, I can only imagine the distress felt by a young teenager who has realised that he is gay but who would find it agonisingly embarrassing to be regarded as one of those exotic people camping it up on television.
Teenagers are a paradox. On the one hand they are separating psychologically from their parents and would be the first to tell you they don't care a fig for conformity. On the other hand, they have a desperate need to conform to their peer group.
Given that gay people form a very small minority of the population, it follows that the other members of the peer group of the average gay teenager are not gay.
What would be the result of coming out to that group? I suspect that in almost all cases the result would be acceptance and perhaps, even, so what? And yet the thought of coming out to one's friends must be frightening, especially since their views of gayness are likely to have been shaped by depictions of very camp people on television.
This, I suspect, is more of a problem for gay male teenagers than for gay female teenagers. The media likes to depict gay females as looking, sounding and acting the same as any other females. It sticks closer to reality.
Acceptance from one's own peer group is one thing but teenagers tend to be scathing about persons who are not members of their group. So coming out to your own peer group may not be so bad - it may be the reactions of others that worries a gay teenager.
For these reasons I was delighted to read that groups for gay and lesbian young people are to be established with the help of the HSE and the Departments of Education and Community, Rural and Gaeltacht Affairs. This work is being spearheaded by a Dublin- based group called Belong To which helps gay people between 14 and 23 years old to meet in a safe and relaxed environment.
Michael Barron, the group's national co-ordinator, recently told The Irish Times that the number of young people coming to the project's groups in Dublin has been more than doubling each year. Some people travel to the groups from various parts of the State every week.
Barron also said young people are increasingly willing to come out to their families and friends.
However, I see that a survey of its readers by Gay Community News found that while 80 per cent of respondents are "out" to their friends, only 60 per cent are out to their family and only 50 per cent to everyone at their workplace.
But there must also be many people who wouldn't know where to get Gay Community News, who wouldn't order it from their local newsagent and who would not want to be seen reading it. Among that group the level of concealment, and consequently of social isolation, must be high.
So the work done by Belong To is of enormous importance. But I am afraid that for as long as we in the media continue to equate gay males with Graham Norton stereotypes, many young men will choose social isolation.
There is more information on www.gayswitchboard.ie/out youth.htm or at belongto@ eircom.net or tel: 01-8734184.
Padraig O'Morain's blog is at www.justlikeaman.blogspot.com