Stop the struggles

The Bigger Picture: There is far more going well in the world than not. We have far more in common between us than not

The Bigger Picture:There is far more going well in the world than not. We have far more in common between us than not. There is plenty of evidence that love exists and that we are loved, whether we are able to notice it or not. There is every reason to be hopeful about the world we live in and the life we can have.

In our societies, people are struggling. This is true. As a result, basic needs are not being met. Somewhere in this - and the place where we've lost touch with our natural ability to help each other heal painful emotions - we, as a people, have gotten into the habit of focusing on the negative.

I find it interesting how it's easier to find 10 people who can readily tell you three things that are going wrong, than three people who can readily tell you one thing that is going well.

It's not that there isn't hope out there, but that the struggle is so current it's all we see. As a result, it has become an effort to notice the positive dimensions.

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We are definitely in a less powerful position when the most of our attention is on what is going wrong. It's discouraging. (Indeed, it's probably an accumulation of discouragement from our past that has created this habit in the first place.)

It becomes difficult to believe in the potential for change and our ability to make things different for ourselves. In the end, the idea of "thinking positively" seems like work.

On the other hand, to form a habit of noticing the goodness of life brings energy back to us. It is encouraging and hopeful. It makes us feel more able to be in charge. As an added bonus, it just makes us happier.

Indeed, it offers an improvement to our health, as it takes an incredible amount of energy to maintain negativity, hopelessness and discouragement.

Personally, I have never been more hopeful about life and its possibilities than I am now. The big change hasn't been with the outer situation (although there has been some change) but within myself.

As I have moved through more of my own struggles, clarified my thinking and taken on my power, the situation around me has just seemed more positive.

Furthermore, I have a better understanding of my past and can now see ways that people tried to be helpful even if the outcome was still difficult. The insight and compassion that has come from this has made my present and future more hopeful.

When we have a powerful perspective on ourselves and others, it makes it possible to look at our struggles more consciously and with an intention to shift them. This is hopeful. This generates more energy.

Most importantly, this is what will change the world so that things go better.

This is different from the position of rigidly thinking up positive thoughts and, in this way, not being able to look at struggles when we need to. The difference is in our strength and the quality of our perspective.

It's as though hope is a power of the heart, and not something that can be superficially installed in the mind. Rather, the change has to come from one's heart. This happens when we genuinely connect with others, gain more understanding of their point of view, and move past our own hurts.

Indeed, it is important to be able to shift our struggles. Again, this is very hopeful.

In order to do so, we need to see them and validate them as something that have been important to us. There is a humanity in each of us that is beautiful and endearing. As a result, there is humanity within our struggles. When we connect with this, it becomes easier to support each other and create change.

One of my favourite concepts from Hindu philosophy comes in the phrase: "You cannot fall down in mud and expect to rise up on a marble floor." It's a teaching in awareness. The idea is simple: most of us have our attention on where we want to be (the marble floor), but struggle to look at where we actually are (in mud or on a mud floor).

Unless we sincerely acknowledge the current situation, we cannot find the path to move ourselves from it.

Thus, you have to put your hands into the mud, get up from the mud and walk to the marble floor.

Having a positive outlook that brings strength and energy begins with having compassion for ourselves and others. When we give ourselves a break, it is because we remember the humanity behind our actions.

Even if our previous solutions were limited, it is helpful to notice we applied the best thinking we could manage at the time with the resources available to us.

The more we encourage our efforts, the more likely it is that we will soon access better thinking - because our self-esteem will be intact and so we can learn more as we go. The more we do this, the more hope we bring into our world.

Shalini Sinha offers life coaching and the Bowen technique to clients around Ireland through her clinic, Forward Movement.