The Bigger Picture: They say the number one new year resolution is to lose weight. If it's yours, you have no reason to feel isolated. Rather, it seems to me the relationship between our food, emotions and bodies is the single greatest personal struggle uniting humanity today.
Increasingly, people around the world are struggling with it. While the numbers may be overwhelming, each one of us has the power to end the struggle and recover our health. With this comes happiness. What we need to succeed most of all is courage.
It isn't rocket science to realise that a sense of disempowerment is at the root of this struggle. And yet, we seem to believe a bit of rocket science is required to figure out how to crack it.
The solutions confuse and evade us. What's more, we're afraid we will lose more by solving this problem than by maintaining it.
Most of us believe if we started to eat well, we would end up unhappy and unfulfilled. We seem to find the greatest (or at least most consistent) joy in life in our food.
Thus, imposing restrictions in this area could be seen only as a recipe for grief and sorrow. We could be living only a boring, half-existence of control and suppression. No wonder we never achieve this resolution. We couldn't possibly really want it deep inside us.
Whenever we say we want something - I mean really want something - but can't manage to attain it, there must be a conflict lying within us somewhere.
There is a reason why we don't achieve. It's not correct to say we're just stupid, lazy or incapable. It is true that at some point a decision needs to be made and we need to follow through on it in order to have any sense of belief in ourselves. But first, what usually obstructs us is an elusive, apparently "reasonable" motive for keeping the problem in place. It has been serving us in some way.
When it comes to food, the answer is usually one thing: control.
We are looking for control over our lives, our feelings, our relationships, our time, our sense of happiness or our own independence.
One of these describes you. Which one is it? What is it that you seek?
What is missing from your life that you need and that you have not yet received anywhere else? And, while the pursuit of food has really helped, is there more you want? Is it possible you can have more? I believe so. I believe there is greater happiness for you, that you can have and that you deserve, now.
The path to gaining what you want is not comfortable at first. It's obviously something new and completely different to what you have spent your whole life doing.
It might appear lonely, fearful and risky - seemingly good reasons to have avoided it so far.
In truth, however, you don't know what it looks like and who would be there because you've never travelled it before.
One thing I am sure of: your life right now, however comfortable, does not make you happy. You do not feel thrilled, fulfilled, confident or excited about yourself. If you did, you would not want (wish) for this change. You certainly wouldn't be disappointed or discouraged if you didn't achieve it.
Actually, this path is the only direction that can open your life up to another plane - a level of much greater feeling, possibilities and, most importantly, control.
This is the only path that will allow you to be in charge of your life and steer it into what truly makes you happy.
In truth, losing weight is not a full goal. It is more an outcome - a byproduct of believing in ourselves, striving for happiness and taking action on it.
If we want to have excitement and delight in our lives, we need to fuel our bodies with the substances that can create energy (a ton of fruit and vegetables to start, none of which need be bland or boring and all of which can be prepared to be truly delectable).
We also need to kickstart our metabolism and that means getting up off our bums and doing something that brings a smile to our face and fun into our lives.
How can we feel excited if we never take in the materials (vitamins and minerals) our cells need to fulfil their chemical reactions?
How can we produce energy if we never get up and move, but only ever fill ourselves with gunge that takes up a deficit of energy to process and remove? It's not rocket science, just simple chemistry.
We can feel a great power within us when we start to embrace the joy our bodies can bring into our lives. Indeed, when neglected, it is our bodies that cause us the greatest suffering.
When nurtured, however, those same bodies are an outstanding vehicle for happiness - whether by dancing, play or closeness with someone we love.
When we choose - above comfort and ease - to access a spark in our lives, we find we lose weight and gain something much greater.
Shalini Sinha practises life coaching and the Bowen technique in her clinic, Forward Movement.