US/ CONOR OCLERY: Republicans were shocked, shocked, over John Kerry's unguarded remark on Tuesday, picked up by a microphone, that his opponents were "the most crooked, you know, lying group I've ever seen".
Four years ago, Democrats spluttered with equal Claude Raines-like indignation when George Bush was overheard whispering to Dick Cheney at a Labour Day rally: "There's Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times."
Senator Kerry refused to apologise for his comment, remarking: "They've said lots of things that are incorrect."
He was particularly incensed by Mr Bush's charge, first made the day before, that in 1995 Kerry proposed a $1.5 billion cut over five years to "gut" the intelligence budget, which was so "deeply irresponsible" that he could get no sponsors.
Actually, the Massachusetts Senator didn't in the end need any sponsors. A cut of this size was also proposed by Republican Senator Arlen Specter and later endorsed by the Republican-led Congress. It was aimed mainly at curbing the US spy satellite agency, which had accumulated secret unspent funds of around $1.5 billion without telling Congress. As the Washington Post pointed out yesterday, the Republican majority slashed $3.8 billion over five years from the agency Kerry was targeting.
Mr Bush, for his part, is reportedly seething at the Kerry campaign's criticism of his choice for manufacturing czar, a new post created in response to the loss of 2.3 million jobs in the last three years. Anthony Raimondo, a businessman from Nebraska, dropped out of consideration after Kerry, who has made the "outsourcing" of American jobs abroad a campaign theme, said Raimondo was "a poster person" for a policy that hit millions of Americans. His offence? Raimondo laid off 75 workers from his four US plants in 2002 and set up a joint-venture factory in China with 180 employees making farm equipment for sale in China. It is the latest self-inflicted wound for the Bush administration on economic issues. Recently, Democrats jumped on a comment from Bush economic adviser Gregory Mankiw that it was a "good thing" for the economy to outsource jobs, as it widened trade. He might be right, but this is election year.
Some Republicans took Mr Kerry's remark about "crooked" and "lying" personally. House Speaker Dennis Hastert said: "If he wants to describe me as being crooked and a liar, I think he will have his comeuppance coming." Congressman Jack Kingston of Georgia scored a double hit when he said Republicans saw John Kerry as "Ted Kennedy on the South Beach diet."
George Bush uses this type of mockery to good effect when addressing supporters. This was evident from the official transcript of a speech he gave at a $2,000-a-head New York event on Thursday with a timing worthy of a stand-up comic. He looked forward to the debate with Senator Kerry, he said.
"It's going to be an interesting debate, because he's built up quite a record (laughter). Senator Kerry - he's been in Washington long enough to take both sides of every issue (laughter and applause).
"Senator Kerry voted for the Patriot Act, voted for NAFTA, voted for the No Child Left Behind Act, and for the use of force in Iraq.
"Now he opposes the Patriot Act, NAFTA, the No Child Left Behind Act (laughter) and the liberation of Iraq. He clearly has strong beliefs (laughter). They just don't last very long (laughter and applause)."
Vice-President Dick Cheney has also been using political humour to some effect. As the main speaker at last weekend's white-tie Gridiron dinner in Washington, where politicians and journalists "roast" each other once a year, he produced a spoof list of questions from the audience. "Here's an unsigned question," he said. "Mr Vice-President, don't you think it's time to step down and let someone else add new energy and vitality to the ticket?' No I don't.
"And Rudy, you need to do a better job disguising your handwriting."
Rudy Giuliani had a follow-up, he said. How did he know he would be on the ticket with Bush in November. "Because the CIA told me so," quipped Cheney. He had also been asked how he would honestly describe himself. "As a dark, insidious force pushing Bush towards war and confrontation," he said.
Did he believe Senator Kerry had Botox treatments? He had some guidance on that from Deputy Defence Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, said Cheney.
Botox was related to the botulism toxin which "could be processed into high-grade biological weapons". They had therefore dispatched David Kay to search for bio-warfare agents hidden in Senator Kerry's forehead. If Senator Kerry had used Botox as part of a wrinkle-enrichment programme, he was in violation of UN Resolution 752. Kay's report might prove that the weapons of mass destruction that Senator Kerry so adamantly insisted did not exist "may well be above his very nose", concluded Cheney, to roars of laughter.
For the record, Mr Kerry has denied, with a straight face, of course, ever having Botox treatments.
At the Gridiron dinner Rudy Giuliani referred to the secret hope of some Democrats that Kerry will be beaten so that Hillary Clinton can get the presidency in 2008. The one thing he and the New York Senator had in common, he joked, was that they would both be voting for George Bush in November. Hillary Clinton, smiling as enigmatically as ever, gave the former New York mayor a mock high-five.