Jerusalem, AD 33
The preacher Jesus has done the seemingly impossible in uniting Zealots and chief priests against him. Independent commentators said this week he seemed to have a death wish for his campaign. Some have suggested he may have a death wish himself. This followed the preacher's assertion once again that he would be killed. "Melodrama, to raise flagging support," was the comment of an editorial in the Palestine Times.
Most controversially, however, he told a story this week about a kind Samaritan man which enraged leaders of the Zealot paramilitaries as well as the religious authorities, though for different reasons.
It followed a report that Jesus had been asked by a theologian what he (the theologian) must do to gain eternal life. Jesus asked him what was written in the law of the prophets about this and the theologian quoted: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind" and "love your neighbour as yourself".
"Do that and you'll be all right," Jesus told him. But the theologian, who later admitted he really wanted to prove Jesus was out of line with the law of the prophets and so not really a good Jew, asked: "Who is my neighbour?"
Typically, Jesus didn't give a straight answer. He told a story about a man travelling on the road from Jerusalem to Jerico when, to no sensible person's surprise, he was attacked by thieves. They stripped the man, beat him up and left him for dead.
A priest passed and, though he saw the badly-beaten man, crossed to the other side of the road and continued on his journey. Then a Levite, who assist priests, came on the scene and he too passed by. Next came a Samaritan. He saw the man and was moved to tears. He bandaged his wounds and poured soothing oil on them, and wine to kill infection. Then he put the man on his donkey and took him to the nearest hotel and looked after him there.
The next day, before he set off on the rest of his journey, he gave money to the hotel manager and asked him to look after the wounded man until he returned. Any extra expense incurred would be paid when he came back, he said.
His story finished, Jesus turned to the theologian and asked: "Which of those three do you think was a neighbour to the man who fell among thieves?" And the theologian had to say, "the man who had mercy on him". Jesus told him: "Now you go and do the same."
A source at the Chief Priest's palace described the story as "typical. He cannot leave us alone. Every chance he gets he attacks the priests. It is a story after all, so why did the two who passed by have to be a priest and a Levite? They could have been fishermen. Or carpenters? His agenda becomes clearer daily."
A Zealot source said it was just a further example of Jesus's "love affair with the Samaritans. They took part of our country and yet the way he goes on you'd think he was one of them himself. I mean the man in the story didn't have to be a Samaritan did he? And another thing, he told us we should pay our taxes to Caesar. He's not a real Palestinian at all."
However, it appears the story Jesus told may have been true. In a letter to the Palestine Times, a man claiming he was the priest who passed by, objected strenuously to the spin Jesus had put on it. He said that on that particular day earlier this year he was already late for a talk in Jerusalem on "Sin and the Sabbath".
Besides, he believed the man was not badly injured, and he also thought that if he intervened the robbers would return and do the same to him. When he got to Jerusalem he reported the incident to the authorities in the belief they would take care of it.
When tracked down eventually by a reporter with the Palestine Times, the Levite at first denied all knowledge of the incident. He has since changed jobs due to "a personal disagreement with God", as he put it. He now makes saddlebags. Finally admitting he had passed by the badly-injured man, he said: "What could I do? It happens all the time. I can't help everyone. Anyway, I didn't create this world. I only live here."