SHOPPING in Tesco is certainly an experience. Gone are the days of endless queues - the company's "one in front" policy put paid to that. If there is one person in front of you, posters around the store pledge that another check out will be opened immediately. With its Clubcard, customers earn a point for every £5 spent, the more points saved the larger the discount.
Check out staff are trained to examine products and think "Would I buy that?" before selling them to the customer to ensure quality control, while "customer assistance" staff, whose lurid blue waistcoats are impossible to miss, supposedly will do anything to please.
"As long as it is decent, they will do it. Hold the baby while you are shopping, carry the bags, take your shopping to the car, anything. We also refund any products, no questions asked. That is a popular policy. People buy some exotic cheese or even caviar, taste it, don't like it, bring it back and we refund them," said another Tesco manager.
At last there has been a revolution in England. It began slowly at first just a few years ago now it is headline news and an accepted part of the daily routine. Welcome to the world of the new supermarket, where food is only of the commodities on offer.
Spearheading this revolution is Tesco, with over 500 stores across Britain. Last year the company ousted Sainsbury's as the No 1 supermarket in Britain, and city analysts predict that in April Tesco will announce record profits, overtaking Sainsbury's in the profits league for the first time in 58 years.
According to Tesco, politicians pledges of financing school equipment should be ignored. Instead by the end of May every school in England and Wales should have a computer courtesy of Tesco. For every £25 spent, the customer is given a computer token to donate to the local school.
"We've been running this project for six years now. It wasn't intended to replace government funding but it seems to have happened. It's our way of putting something back into the community," explained a spokesman.
Banking services, customer roadshows, healthy eating leaflets offering advice on diabetes, allergies, nutrition and diet plans in braille and on cassettes, baby changing facilities with free nappies, coffee shops with free baby food and pharmacies are all part of the revolution.
Its latest "revolutionary" scheme is devised to keep its customers from the cradle to the grave. For up to a year the Tesco baby club will give mothers £70 in vouchers and free baby magazines. "It is enough to make you want to be pregnant," quipped one woman as she took a leaflet.
Customer loyalty certainly pays. In 1996, Tesco's turnover was £12 billion, excluding VAT, with profits of £724 million.
"Basically Sainsbury's and the other supermarkets were resting on their laurels, thinking they did not have to change to keep their customers. We value our customers and spend months devising ways to ensure they continue to shop with us. Our schemes were dismissed by the others as gimmicks but now they all copy them," one Tesco deputy manager said.
And now to the food. On average each store has about 20,000-30,000 different lines, about half of which are own brands, from fruit, flowers and frozen foods to champagne, caviar and Clarins beauty products. The company also stocks over 800 wines from over 30 countries, many of them exclusive to Tesco.
"We are currently investing in South Africa and have seven vineyards there that produce wine for our exclusive listing. It is a growing market and our buying team is constantly reviewing our stock. We listen to what our customers want and like," said Ms Nicky Walden, the company's wine spokeswoman.
So, armed with this knowledge I braced myself for the revolution as I wandered around the aisles of the Metro store in Oxford Street. My instructions were to bring black something tasty for lunch.
As I entered the supermarket, my eyes were immediately drawn to a large customer advertising board, which offered everything from Spanish lessons and baby sitting services to adult lingerie parties and flat shares.
"I always read the board while I wait for my wife to finish shopping. You get some good bargains and it's free. It makes entertaining reading," said Mr Tony Russell, an assistant bank manager from Croydon.
As the smell of fresh bread wafted around the store, a typical supermarket ploy, I bypassed the sandwich counter and bumped into a man in blue. True to form, Terry immediately offered assistance, suggesting a whole range of tasty lunch dishes from salads to caviar on French toast. "The hardest thing to do is advising how to cook things. I am useless," he confided.