The Co Mayo farmer denying murdering a 43-year-old Traveller at his home last October told the Central Criminal Court yesterday that, when he reloaded his shotgun after firing the first of two shots at his victim, he contemplated killing himself.
Pádraig Nally, of Funshinagh Cross, Co Mayo, told Mr Justice Paul Carney and a jury that, at the time of the fatal shooting, October 2004, his life wasn't worth living because of the state he was in due to fears about intruders calling to his home.
In direct evidence yesterday Mr Nally, who has pleaded not guilty to the murder of John Ward, a father of 11, of Carrowbrowne Halting Site, Headford Road, Galway, denied having any intention of killing his victim.
"I never intended to shoot anyone in my life," Mr Nally said. "I am sorry for doing it. It happened on the spur of the moment. "But under cross-examination by Paul O'Higgins SC, Mr Nally agreed that, before the fatal shot, he had decided to kill his victim.
Mr O'Higgins asked: "So, at that stage you had decided to kill him?" Mr Nally replied, "I had, and I thought I was going to be killed all week myself."
Mr O'Higgins then said: "You had intended to kill him. Isn't that what you told the gardaí?" Mr Nally replied: "Yes."
Yesterday Mr Nally told the court that, after a break-in to his home in February 2004, he had moved his shotgun to the shed because he was afraid he would be shot in his own bed.
Mr Nally said he became so concerned that for five months before the shooting he sat in his shed for four to five hours a day, out of fear that somebody would call. "I was afraid," he said. "I had to guard my premises. I was going to fire a shot over their heads to frighten them away."
His sister would come and stay with him every Friday until Sunday. He would be scared for the rest of the week. Recalling the fatal shot which killed John Ward, the accused said he did not mean to shoot him at the time. "The shot accidentally hit him. I meant to frighten him away."
Mr Nally said he went to where the victim lay on the side of the road, threw the gun on the ground and threw the body across the wall into a field. He said he did this because he was afraid of others coming back and killing him "straight out" if they saw the body.
Claiming that his "mind was gone entirely" at the time of the shooting, he said he reloaded and thought about shooting himself.
He went on to tell of people in the locality who had been tied up in their beds and robbed at night. He told the court that two men had been killed about eight miles from his home, in Kilmaine.
"One got a knife in the stomach and died from the injuries. The two were saying the rosary when they were broken into for money in the night. That was going through my mind all the time," Mr Nally said. For months before the shooting he had only slept for two hours any night.
He added that, on the Sunday before the shooting, after his sister left, he knew something was going to happen that week.
"I had that feeling in my mind that I'd be found dead. I couldn't sleep. I thought I'd have to shoot myself. I couldn't live with it any more. I was in fear the whole time."
Recalling the day of the shooting, Mr Nally said he went for his gun in the shed, which was loaded. He said the gun went off accidentally in his hand and he did not know whether or not he had hit the man. "I was holding the gun down low, just holding it by my side. I remember my hand shivering when the trigger went off. I was shaking with the fear that . . . I'd be killed."
Mr Nally said that, when he fired the first shot, the accused made for him instead of running away. "He came in with one intention - to kill me and nothing else. I knew from the look of the man that he was coming back to kill me."
In reply to Mr Justice Carney, Noel Grehan SC, defending, said he was pleading self-defence.
Two psychiatrists who had treated the victim before his death were called by the defence yesterday. Dr Dympna Gibbons, senior registrar at University College Hospital, Galway, said Mr Ward had a difficult temper and a history of fighting from a young age. As a bare-knuckle boxer, he would have inflicted serious injuries.He had been due in court for threatening a man with a slashhook.
Maureen Nally, sister of the accused, told the court that she had noticed changes in her brother's work habits and behaviour after a chainsaw which she had bought for him had been stolen. In spring 2004 she had noticed he was neglecting his farm duties, and the situation got worse in July and August.
Her brother had changed from being an outgoing person to someone who wasn't interested in his work. He would sleep a lot at weekends when she was there, totally out of character for him.
The trial will hear closing submissions next Tuesday.