Revamped Dáil bar 'like a bordello'; Biffo and Tiger Willie's menu; media perils for McDaid's partner; the new Olwyn and Joe of Fine Gael; coke alarm; Senator Eoghan Harris aka 'Rolf'; Fiona O'Malley's welcome in the Fianna Fáil gene pool
Let joy be unconfined! Line up the Coke! Pour forth the pints of stout! The Dáil bar has had a facelift.
It's 11 years since the Leinster House watering hole had a makeover, and it was long overdue. Reaction to the new look has been mixed.
Most politicians canvassed for an opinion make the same comment: "It looks a like a bordello." Which begs the question, "how do you know?" Mind you, they have a point. It's all very plush and decadent, although it's a look that could date quickly. If the predominant colour was red, instead of a forceful electric blue, the only item of furniture missing would be a lapdancing pole.
The decision to do a revamp was taken when walls were knocked in the Members' Bar to put in a new fire escape. The place ended up filthy and covered in dust. So Oireachtas staff and the OPW, in consultation with architects Murray O'Laoire, set about designing a more modern political gin palace.
The refit is not finished yet; some furniture, pictures for the walls and the all-important brass rail at the foot of the bar have to go in. But the overall mood has been set, and it is blue. Very blue.
Thankfully, the bar's greatest asset - the staff - remains unchanged.
The completed job will cost the taxpayer €212,000.
There is no truth in the rumour that Bertie Ahern, who wowed the Mahon tribunal with his tales of soft furnishings and doing up houses, was consulted about the refurbishment. His taste in that department would have been far too expensive for the available budget.
With the continuing furore over Williegate, the small matter of Tánaiste Brian Cowen's non-involvement in the affair has been somewhat overlooked.
Unlike the fighting fizzbag O'Dea, Biffo was a model of decorum last Saturday night. The Taoiseach's Anointed One was in Limerick for the opening of an art exhibition, and repaired afterwards to South's pub to watch the rugby and have a quiet pint with his ministerial colleague.
In the light of their leader's current difficulties, one wonders what the main subject for discussion might have been between these two Fianna Fáil heavyweights.
Wisely, Taoiseach Ahern has decided not to get entangled in the controversy involving Tiger Willie, and what he did or didn't say to people who were shouting at him in a pub.
But he may have been interested in finding out whether Ministers Cowen and O'Dea were contemplating a visit to the local takeaway after their tete-a-tete.
Three years ago, when backbenchers were acting up, an angry Bertie told his parliamentary party he would not tolerate anyone forming "kebabs" against his leadership.
Were Biffo and Tiger Willie pondering a change of political menu when they met at the weekend?
Cabals, anyone?
Best wishes to Deputy Jim McDaid and Siobhán O'Donnell, who are getting married in Derry's Guildhall at 3.30 this afternoon.
The couple had hoped to slip away for a quiet wedding, and were planning to break the news to family and friends at a joint birthday bash for Jim, who turned 58 on Wednesday, and his mother Nellie, who reached a wonderful 85 two days earlier.
However, their plans leaked out, hence today's full-scale occasion. After the nuptials, guests will head down to Castlegrove House on the banks of Lough Swilly for the reception.
The newlyweds aren't having a long honeymoon, but will spend a few days in the idyllic Sandhouse hotel and spa in nearby Rossnowlagh before Jim returns to the Dáil on Wednesday.
Earlier this week, the very attractive Siobhán discovered the media downside that comes with marrying such a high profile and controversial political figure.
She found herself the focus of comment in some tabloid newspapers, which ran stories implying she has, to use that awful phrase, "let herself go" since hooking up with the Donegal Fianna Fáil TD.
To illustrate this bizarre theory, photographs of a radiant Ms O'Donnell attending a black-tie ball were contrasted with pictures of her in everyday jeans and a casual top.
"We had a good laugh when we saw the articles," said Jim yesterday. "Siobhán was running around doing an election canvass when the second picture was taken. Actually, I thought she looked rather well."
Which she did. The soon to be Mrs McDaid wasn't to know that female hacks can't even take the bins out without putting on a gown and high heels, and that their bosses expect the same standards of women who live in the real world. Oh, yes.
Fine Gael Chief Whip Paul Kehoe got married last weekend. And now, more news from the romance front. First time deputy Lucinda Creighton, who toppled Michael McDowell from his political perch in Dublin South East, is stepping out with Cork Senator Paul Bradford. They look set to become the new Olwyn and Joe of Fine Gael.
At the start of the previous Dáil, Offaly deputy Olwyn Enright and Donegal senator Joe McHugh, became an item. The couple subsequently married. Olwyn retained her seat in the last election and Joe won through to join her in the Dáil.
So no pressure there for Lucinda and Paul, regulars among the young political set who occasionally like to relax upstairs in Renards nightclub after late sittings on a Wednesday.
The fire alarm went off twice in Leinster House during a week when there was much talk about claims in a new book that a Government Minister is a regular user of cocaine. The story occasioned much snorting of the sceptical kind among politicians from all sides, who think it is way too far-fetched to imagine a serving minister blithely admitting to a freelance journalist that he has a drug habit.
Anyway, back to the alarm, set off by steam from a vent. Two Opposition deputies were hurrying down the corridor to one of the designated assembly points.
"What's going on," said one to the other.
"It's the coke alarm."
Hot news from the Seanad. Taoiseach's nominee Eoghan Harris will be pleased to know he has acquired a nickname. Certain wags, in the safety of the bar and anonymity of the plinth, have taken to calling him "Rolf". Wobble boards at the ready, all together now: Tie me Senator down, sport! Tie me Senator down!"
Gerry Mullins, popular communications manager for the Green Party, bade farewell to the political tumble this week. He's off to the calmer waters of corporate PR and Carr Communications. His colleagues and friends in Leinster House gave him a big send-off at a drinks party in the Dáil on Wednesday night.
PD Senator Fiona O'Malley was in the news recently when she was dragged into a story about a Garda inquiry into a planning application. It turned out she had nothing to do with the matter.
When Ms O'Malley entered the Oireachtas members' bar after the story was published, she was given a warm and hearty welcome by the Fianna Fáilers present.
"It was like the return of the prodigal daughter. She got a hero's welcome," a bemused bystander tells us. "They were oozing sympathy for her and her problems with the planning. Fiona looked a bit taken aback by their reaction."
She may be Dessie's daughter, but she's still part of the Fianna Fáil gene pool. At least that seemed to be the happy conclusion of the lads in the bar that day.