Around the time of the Dublin millennium milk bottle, Bertie Ahern fell in with a fast crowd and ended up in national politics, writes Miriam Lordat Dublin Castle.
Things went downhill after that.
Now, as he might say himself, the pigeons are coming home to roast. Hardly a day passes without fresh questions for the Taoiseach to answer.
Why can't he say he is tax compliant? Is he making up his story as he goes along? How did he amass all that money, way above his salary, when he was minister for finance? Who gave it to him and why? If Owen O'Callaghan never gave him as much as a glass of water, who did? Whatever happened to standards in high office? Are his Ministers privately mortified, or just stupid? Was Bertie even the slightest bit embarrassed by his performance at the Mahon tribunal? These awkward questions follow Bertie now wherever he goes. He tries not to show it, but you can see he resents them.
Yesterday, when the latest one to surface was put to him, the Taoiseach was, as always, ready with his answer. It was delivered, as always, with confidence: here is a dependable man who speaks the truth.
He was patient, as always, with the media - sure they're only doing their job.
And, as always, his words came wrapped in a soft fug of weariness and sorrow: Bertie is now resigned to the fact that his lot in life is to be the victim of an unfair and never-ending campaign of persecution. He bears this cross with stoic dignity.
Yesterday's question followed on from the news that he helped a Manchester businessman behind a controversial casino project to obtain an Irish passport. Norman Turner has already been mentioned in dispatches at the tribunal; in 1994, he gave a donation of $10,000 to Bertie's fundraiser, Des Richardson.
The arrival of Mr Turner's new passport coincides with a time when there was a lot of activity happening on the Ahern financial front. Fine Gael's Phil Hogan, who discovered the connection between the two men, thinks the episode stinks to high heaven.
The Taoiseach has always maintained that, apart from being a guest of Mr Turner in his private box at Old Trafford on a few occasions, he hardly knows him. But big Phil thought he'd won the Turner prize yesterday by highlighting that Bertie may know Norman a lot better than he is letting on.
Right enough, it seems a little strange that an English tycoon should have such an urgent need for an Irish passport that he has to ask the Irish minister for finance to rush one through. However, in obtaining one for him, the then minister Ahern did nothing wrong. Irish TDs are always fast-tracking passports for worried constituents who forget to renew them in time for their holidays.
Over 6,000 of them were issued in this way last year, Bertie was quick to point out when the inevitable question came. He was waylaid by the media on his way into Dublin Castle, where he was due to address the National Forum on Europe.
Clearly, the Taoiseach feels he is on solid ground where this latest eruption is concerned. He had his facts to hand, and even evoked the shades of Éamon de Valera and Erskine Childers to bolster his argument. Then he threw in Paul McGrath and Mick McCarthy for good measure.
Like Norman Turner, who has a Cork-born mother, Éamon, Erskine, Paul and Mick were all fully entitled to their Irish passports under the Irish Mammies and Grannies rule.
And yet, sniffed Bertie, martyr to the last, RTÉ chose to run a full eight minutes on the news with big Phil's yarn. "It was put forward that it was a passport for sale and that Norman Turner was from Outer Mongolia," he sighed.
Of course, he meant to say Cork, but it's easy to see how a true-blue Dub like Bertie might make that mistake.
The Taoiseach added that he would do the same turn for anybody who asked for his assistance in obtaining a passport. Doesn't matter to him whether they come from Outer Mongolia, Inner Mongolia, the southside or that exotic and alien tribe of savages known as Fine Gael.
"If he was a Fine Gaeler, if he was Phil Hogan's brother, I still would have helped him," said the Taoiseach, a true liberal.
No, there was nothing untoward in him getting Norman his passport. It was an "absolute fallacy" to suggest otherwise. "I refute in the strongest terms I can, without getting too strong about it," he fumed.
Finally, he escaped to the forum, where he made a very long speech urging voters to be "sensible and pragmatic" and accept the EU reform treaty.
Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny took time from tearing strips off Bertie to pledge his full support for the treaty. "We're going to put our political differences behind us on this issue," said Enda.
"The eyes of 800 million people, through their parliaments, are now focused on this country," he added. That's a bit worrying.
While Bertie-related ructions continued back in Leinster House, it was all sweetness and light at the castle. "May I compliment the Taoiseach on what I thought was an excellent and passionate speech," declared Labour's Joe Costello.
Bertie beamed. It's been so long since anyone's been nice to him.
Of course, it won't last. The way persecuted Bertie sees it, it's only a matter of time before he's blamed for blowing up Nelson's Pillar, stealing Shergar, shooting JR and precipitating the GAA crisis in Outer Mongolia.