DÁIL SKETCH:JOO DILIGENCE fell off the wagon yesterday afternoon.

As Brian Cowen spoke in the Dáil, a dull thud was heard from somewhere in the vicinity of the Government benches. It was the familiar sound of the bibulous Ms Diligence as she buckled, prior to being carried out yet again.

On this occasion, the Taoiseach abandoned his practice of announcing the latest distressing episode to the House, because by now, everyone is well used to Joo Diligence being carried out.

However, he revealed that the heavy-lifting duties are currently being shouldered by a couple of strong men – later identified as the “public interest” board members of the troubled Two Fingers Building Society.

For the next few weeks, they will be carrying out Ms Diligence at regular intervals until her brother, Due Process, comes to collect her.

The trigger for this relapse was news that Michael “Fingers” Fingleton, the boss of a minor financial institution, was paid a huge cash bonus by his company after it had to be bailed out by hard-pressed taxpayers.

And once they saved his bacon, Fingleton sank his snout straight back into the Two Fingers Building Society trough, trousering a highly undeserved million euro.

Because he’s worth it.

A bit like Gerry McCaughey, pillar of the timber-frame construction industry and the Green Party’s pet businessman. Only recently, Minister John Gormley appointed him chairman of the Dublin Docklands Development Authority (DDDA).

Gerry’s worth it too, even if he doesn’t have a nickname like Josef Locke lookalike Fingleton, or Seánie Fitzpatrick aka The Borrower. Gerry is part of the new breed of Irish business people. He appears on programmes like Questions and Answers. He’s the sort of bloke you would look up to. He certainly impressed his patron, Minister Gormley. “One of our most successful Green entrepreneurs, and in the past decade, he has shown clear leadership on issues including regulatory reform and sustainable practices.” That’s what the Green Party leader said when putting Gerry in charge of the DDDA, as Labour’s Eamon Gilmore cruelly reminded him yesterday.

But the man with no nickname, at least in Deputy Gilmore’s eyes, appears to be no different to Seánie and Fingers. He avoided paying over €4 million in tax to the Irish exchequer in 2005.

According to the leader of the Labour Party, Mr McCaughey “legally avoided the payment of Capital Gains tax by the convenient means of transferring the shares of his spouse, who then transferred herself to Italy for the best part of a year to qualify as a tax exile.” Mr McCaughey stepped down from his position yesterday evening.

In fairness, Gerry McCaughey did nothing illegal. He had made around €23 million when his company was sold. Had his missus not gone down the exiled for tax purposes route, he would have had to pay over €4 million to the taxman here.

That would have left him with, oh, around €19 million. How could anyone be expected to live on that? Meanwhile, the case of Fingers Fingleton and his Two Fingers Building Society rumbles on. Enda Kenny demanded to know what the Government intends to do about getting back the million pound bonus paid to Two Fingers by his building society after it was bailed out.

It was at this stage that the familiar thud reverberated around the chamber. Joo Diligence, on the sauce again, about to be carried out.

Sure enough, the Taoiseach talked of how the issue would have to be thoroughly investigated.

There’s only so much people can put up with. At this stage, the Opposition is becoming sick and tired of the antics of Ms Diligence. How many times must the poor woman be carried out before the Government sees sense and starts acting decisively? The Fine Gael leader pointed out that the principal fact had been established beyond dispute – Two Fingers Fingleton was paid a million euro after the taxpayer saved his bacon.

What more is there to discover? He said his Government had the legal power to demand the return of the bonus. The Taoiseach talked about exploring all the options available. Furthermore, with the two “public interest” board members busy carrying out Joo Diligence, his Finance Minister “will ensure that he gets to the bottom of the issue.” This is a departure from traditional Fianna Fáil practice, which is to get to the top of every issue. Accordingly, where Two Fingers Fingleton is concerned, Minister Lenihan is not climbing every tree in the Two Fingers Building Society, rather, he is plumbing the depths in search of evidence.

Which appears to be in front of his nose. Going by what the Dáil is now hearing on a regular basis, there seems to have been a rottenness and rank hypocrisy underpinning the upper echelons of Irish business.