DAIL SKETCH:THE GOVERNMENT decided not to put Joo Jilligence on the board of AIB, writes MIRIAM LORD

For starters, the bank didn't want her. (Never liked the interfering aul' Biddy.) And what the AIB wants, the AIB tends to get. Then there was the drink.

It may have been a while since she's gone on a major bender, but Brian Lenihan obviously thought it wiser to place Dick Spring on the board in her stead. Certainly, the Taoiseach and Minister for Finance don't talk as much as they used to about her being carried out.

Now that Nama has arrived, maybe Ms Jilligence has gone into rehab? She came to mind yesterday as Opposition leaders took the opportunity to embarrass the Government over the saga of the search for a saviour for Allied Irish. Despite all the promises made by the two Brians, it looks like the appointment will be an inside job.

"The latest debacle in banking circles" said Indakinny, particularly concerned the AIB wants to pay the executive in question more than the €500,000 pay limit set by the Government.

Biffo mentioned the "Covered Institutions Remuneration Oversight Committee" and, according to the script he was reading carefully, indicated that the limit would have to apply to the new man.

It's not like half a million a year plus perks is a small consideration. Surely there must be "somebody among the Irish diaspora who would do the job for half a million?" marvelled the Fine Gael leader. For that money, Enda, we reckon you wouldn't even have to go abroad. It's only an 18-month stint. David McWilliams would love it, especially after he was knocked back on the jobs front by Brian Lenihan. Allegedly.

Eamon Gilmore was appalled by the AIB's early attempt to see how easily it can ignore its new Government boss. If their insider was to get the €633,000 salary they want to pay him, it would be 20 times the amount earned by a council road worker, said the Labour leader. Mind you, with his handsome Dáil salary and allowances, Appalled of Kingstown is probably worth a fair few road workers too.

It's heavy going around Leinster House these days, what with people so worried about spreading the burden of their adjustments. Perhaps we should all think about eating more salads.

"The bulk of the adjustment will have to consider all spending lines," said Minister Lenihan, opening the Pre-Budget Outlook debate, billed as an attempt by the Government to smoke out the Opposition's solutions to our financial situation.

His speech was dull and gave nothing away, bar a hint that many more lower-paid workers will be brought into the tax net. It was described by FG finance spokesman Richard Bruton as "the usual dialogue of the deaf". Deputy Bruton was quite passionate in his contribution, which he delivered with the aid of closely handwritten foolscap pages. He even offered some proposals on how money could be saved, but not too many.

The budget was all about "taking an opportunity" to do the right thing by the nation's finances, he said more than once.

Now, when December 9th rolls around, Richard will be able to utter the line beloved of all Opposition finance spokespeople since time began: "This budget is a missed opportunity . . ." Labour's Joan Burton managed to get Giovanni Trapattoni into her contribution, by way of Bertie Ahern's "buke". But it was difficult to hear what she was saying, because Enda Kenny, Richard Bruton and Kieran O'Donnell prattled away loudly to each other for most of her speech.

It really was the worst of bad manners. Ruairí Quinn, clearly affronted by their disregard for parliamentary etiquette, glared at them. But to no avail.

Green Party leader John Gormley, evoking The Ascent of Man, spoke of the long-term challenge "we face as a species" although he also believed "we've begun to master our difficulties". Which brings us to his colleague Paul GoGo Gogarty - an original of the species who turned up to listen to his leader.

He appeared to be sporting a version of the Jedward quiff. Gogo hails from Lucan, hometown of The Grimes Twins of X Factor fame. There is nothing those boys wouldn't do to be famous. And there's nothing Gogo wouldn't do to get re-elected.

Was his hairdo an homage to the twins? It rose up from his forehead in a tuft of gell and what looked suspiciously like hairspray.

We need to be told.