GOVERNMENT CHIEF whip Paul Kehoe was taking no lectures from the Opposition when he visited the Seanad on Wednesday to respond to a Fianna Fáil motion on the proposed closure of Army barracks.

“The motion is completely at odds with the policy pursued by Fianna Fáil in government; it is mischievous and it is scare-mongering of the worst type,” began Kehoe, who is also Enda’s hired muscle when Big Phil is too busy.

Baby Phil takes his job very seriously and he got stuck into FF for their hypocrisy, given that the party implemented two programmes of barrack closures when in government.

“To put the motion in perspective, let us consider Fianna Fáil’s contrasting approach when in government” said Paul, listing the 10 barracks concerned in case the Fianna Fail Senators had forgotten them.

Whereupon he declared: “When I debate issues in the Lower House, I always wonder whether the people opposite are suffering from magnesia in some way.” “Amnesia” murmured his colleague Paul Coghlan.

Wexford deputy Paul had the bit between his teeth. “The magnesia has spread right up through the building, because the Senators on the opposite side of the House are suffering from the very same magnesia!” “Amnesia” signed Sinn Féin’s Trevor Ó Clochartaigh.

Perhaps the Minister of State had rushed his tea and was feeling a little dyspeptic by the time he got to the Seanad. That might explain his Magnesia moment.

But wait. It seems a remedy was in the offing for Paul.

“I will finish with a short antidote [sic]. When Bill Clinton was asked how he won the US presidential election, he just said ‘It’s the economy, stupid’.” We hear certain Senators have now taken to stopping each other in the corridors in order to swap antidotes.