Dáil Sketch/Miriam Lord: World statesman Bertie Ahern never once looked up from his briefing notes, as if he couldn't bear to contemplate lowly Enda Kenny without first pressing a perfumed hankie to his nose while simultaneously looking down it.
They say familiarity breeds contempt, and during the course of this latest Dáil session, long-serving Bertie has been doing his best to prove the maxim. Under continuing pressure, An Taoiseach's veneer of patience and tolerance has been wearing very, very, thin.
These days, he finds it increasingly difficult to disguise his annoyance at insolent Opposition ingrates who seem to think they are entitled to hold him, and his Government, to account.
Yesterday, the political pygmies were at it again.
Poor, put-upon, Bertie sighed and spoofed and just about managed to tolerate their questions, but you could see he's utterly fed-up with the lack of appreciation he's getting from the far side of the House.
He was particularly testy during Leaders' Questions. Maybe he's been overdoing it on the public engagement front. In the course of a hectic PR outing on Monday, he pressed fur, flesh and horsehair as he posed for photos with pussycats, lady footballers and lawyers.
Still, it's not like Taoiseach Ahern had much else to do. Clearly, he had already read and digested the report from the Commission on Electronic Voting - a weighty document.
Having advance knowledge of its contents, he began business yesterday with an advantage over the "Little People" across the chamber floor, who were given only half an hour to get to grips with the details.
Claiming "overall validation" (makes a nice change from "total vindication") Bertie was saddened to note the Opposition jumping to predictable conclusions, and them having read just the opening pages of this very comprehensive work.
"It's the old story, isn't it?" he sighed, signalling a U-turn in his personal Dáil style as he condemned "off the top of the head" remarks.
In his view, "overall validation" could be the only verdict.
"It is clear to anyone who will read this report, and I've had an opportunity - because the report was given to Minister Roche over the weekend - to do that," he boasted. Did he really read the report? Or was this merely waffle to get the "validation" line out in public?
When Enda Kenny hit back with some select, less complimentary cuts from the report, Bertie was forced to look at him. He became less confident in his replies.
He retreated to a safe place and started thanking the commission and the chairman, on behalf of the Government, for their good work.
Then he got thick. "Read nothing, understand nothing, put forward nothing!" To which came the reply: "When do you start?"
More juicy cuts from Labour leader, Pat Rabbitte. He was particularly taken by Page 107, which held out the possibility that the old e-voting system could eliminate the wrong candidate in the event of a tied vote.
As he outlined other possible problems with the software used in certain constituencies at the last general election, Fine Gael's Michael Ring became more agitated than usual as an appalling vista dawned.
"Did Nora Owen lose her seat at all?" he wailed.
It slowly emerged that the Fianna Fáil leader was not as familiar with the contents of the document as he had earlier intimated.
Pulled up on one of his replies, he looked at the highlighted passages in his briefing notes and squeaked: "I was merely quoting the report."
By now, Pat Rabbitte was reverting to breed and smelling a rat. Was the commission not obligated to present the report to the Ceann Comhairle first?
How come the Minister for the Environment got a copy of it on Friday? Not to mention Bertie?
An Ceann Comhairle rushed to issue a clarification. Rory O'Hanlon helpfully pointed out that he got his copy a few hours previously. Bertie bit his lip and went silent.
Honestly. The Opposition is so negative. Taoiseach Ahern can't wait to escape from them today and go canvassing until September.
Digging deep into his reserves of lucidity, he treated the Green's Trevor Sargent, who had the cheek to ask that Fianna Fáil give their Galway Races money to charity, to the following advice:
"Don't be always: 'everything is a Z'."
Give the man a holiday.