MONDAY True Lives: Vidra (RTE 1, 8.30 p.m.) Documentary about a 1,500-mile journey undertaken by 12 Irish people to Romania in 1995 to bring medicines, toys and school desks to a school for children affected by HIV. 63673318 Equinox: Conspiracy Of Science (Channel 4, 9 p.m.) American pharmaceutical and biotechnology companies go to extreme lengths to protect their lucrative secrets. The Equinox team follows an undercover operation by an FBI unit specifically entrusted with safeguarding those secrets. 4047
Does China Exist? (BBC 2, 10 p.m.) One-off spoof show from comedian Paul Merton, in which he satirises the eminently spoofable world of programmes about the unexplained and paranormal. Merton makes a startling discovery about the assassination of JFK, explores his own psychic powers, and makes an in-studio attempt on the land speed record. 70486 Split Image (RTE 1, 11.30 p.m.) Does the world really need another documentary on Sting? Tonight's offering in RTE's arts strand is actually a repeat of a South Bank Show profile - in other words, it's glorified hagiography. The pre-publicity asserts that as a result of the ex-Policeman's solo work "the horizons of pop were broadened, with many pop groups later following suit". Presumably this is supposed to be a good thing. 24604432
TUESDAY Leargas (RTE 1, 7.30 p.m.) Caoimhe Nic Caba travels to Glasgow to report on the fortunes of Celtic Football Club, largely financed and supported by fans of Irish extraction. She investigates how the club has been coping with the increasing commercialism of modern football. 33779887 Food And Drink (BBC 2, 8.30 p.m.) Antony Worrall Thompson prepares a not-very-seasonal-sounding Christmas dish of crab blinis with poached eggs, while Jilly Goolden and Oz Clarke have fun with cheap bubbly. 2719 Timewatch: In Search Of Cleopatra (BBC 2, 9 p.m.) The last in the current series unravels some of the myths surrounding the legendary Egyptian queen, and looks at her legacy, from archaeological sites to Hollywood movies. 810603 Picture This: Accidental Hero (BBC 2, 9.50 p.m.) When the ferry The Herald of Free Enterprise capsized 10 years ago, killing 193 people, 20 lives were saved by passenger Andrew Parker, who formed a human bridge in the ice-cold water. A decade later, Parker tells how the ensuing fame has carried its own price. 996528 @last tv (Network 2, 10 p.m.) Hurler Jamesie O'Connor's secret passions and swimming doctor Gary O'Toole's pet hates feature in tonight's programme, which also features the count from the election drama The Candidate. 18835887
WEDNESDAY Modern Times: Prommers (BBC 2, 9 p.m.) Portrait of the most dedicated aficionados of the Promenade concerts at the Royal Albert Hall, who spend half the summer pursuing their passion. Actually this is really about that most British of institutions, the queue. 233123
Secret Lives: JFK (Channel 4, 9 p.m.) There's not a lot left secret at this stage about the womanising, drug-taking, Mafia-befriending president, but we are promised "never seen before" interviews with ex-bodyguards and mistresses. 9630 John Hume - A Profile (RTE 1, 10.10 p.m.) Written and presented by Olivia O'Leary, this 100-minute documentary has contributions from most of the main players of the past 30 years as it charts the SDLP leader's central role at the frontline of Irish politics since the late 1960s. 82036681 Jumpers (BBC 1, 10.15 p.m.) Northern writer Colin Bateman has two feature films due to hit our screens next year, but this amusing short black comedy, ably directed by Konrad Jay, is his first effort to be seen on the box. Set in a Belfast department store at Christmastime, it follows the travails of three would-be suicides as they decide whether to take the plunge. 977543
THURSDAY United Tastes Of America (Channel 4, 8.30 p.m.) The last in Dorinda Hafner's explorations of the diverse regional and ethnic influences in American cooking takes her to Savannah, Georgia, where she samples the best of African-American cuisine, including grits, collard greens and pigs' tails. 8383 Dead Man's Doctor (RTE 1, 9.30 p.m.) Donald Taylor Black's last two productions, Hearts And Souls and The Joy, have been among the best home-grown offerings of recent years, and the subject of his new "observational documentary" promises to be just as fascinating and potentially controversial. Black follows eight months in the working life of the State pathologist, Prof John Harbison, who has now been in the job for 23 years, but much of whose work remains a mystery to the Irish public. 62657963 This Boy's Story (Channel 4, 10 p.m.) Good dramas about sporting obsessions are few and far between, which makes John Roberts's marvellous, beautifully-made drama a welcome repeat at any time of the year. Set in the late 1960s, it follows two brothers from a broken home who set off to a Liverpool-Manchester United match in search of their hero, George Best. 2752091
FRIDAY The Simpsons (BBC 2, 6 p.m., Sky 1, 7 p.m., Network 2, 7.30 p.m.) What better way to kick off the weekend than with a Homer-sized meal of the best television programme in the world? The BBC has the Christmas special, with Homer getting a job as Santa, Sky's offering centres on those masters of mayhem, Itchie and Scratchie, while Bart and Lisa's holiday at Kamp Krusty turns into a nightmare on Network 2 (or En 2, as we seem to be expected to call it these days, if those grammatically suspect "An N2 Production" end titles are to be believed). 187345, 1426, 27229161 Christmas At Ballymaloe (RTE 1, 8 p.m.) Darina Allen presents ideas for Christmas with a difference, although the thought of "kumquats in brandy with champagne sauce" sounds like a desecration, and whatever the merits of a "white Christmas cake", December 19th seems a little late in the day for such diversions. 63489971 Have I Got News For You (BBC 2, 10 p.m.) This year's season ends with a round-up of the most memorable clips, as the team takes a break until April. 96600
FILMS Tuesday: Quiz Show (RTE 1, 10.10 p.m.) The first of RTE's hefty line-up of Christmas movies, this true story of corruption in the early days of American television is directed with style and assurance by Robert Redford, with excellent performances, in particular from Ralph Fiennes and John Turturro. 65622121 Tuesday: Best Intentions (Channel 4, 12.40 a.m.) Danish director Bille August's superb but demanding (over three hours long) handling of Ingmar Bergman's autobiographical screenplay is one to tape for those January evenings, but begs the question as to why August now makes dreadful Europuddings such as House Of The Spirits and Smilla's Feeling For Snow. 30433036
Wednesday: Unforgiven (ITV, 9 p.m.) Clint Eastwood's fine Western revisits and revises the mythology and imagery that have formed the backbone of the actor's career. What at first glance might seem just another take on an old theme is given depth and focus by writer David Webb Peoples's intelligent screenplay, Jack Green's brooding cinematography and Eastwood's exploration of the consequences of violence. Terrific film-making. Part 1: 7901, Part 2: 7696982 Wednesday: Beautiful Thing (Channel 4, 10.30 p.m.) Engaging coming-of-age drama about the emerging sexual relationship between two teenaged boys on a London council estate. Director Hettie McDonald's lightness of touch is admirable. 87422104
