Restraint has no place at the Christmas table. Out the window go any vestigial thoughts about smart little late-1990s-style dinners. This one is at its best when it's a rollercoaster of excess - a protracted bacchanalian blow-out filling all that empty space between early morning presents and evening torpor with as much pleasure as possible. On the drinks front, that means not just quantity, but variety. Palates can be refreshed, flagging energies revived and the whole proceedings stretched miraculously if you produce something interesting to drink with the pudding.
What, though? With only one chance a year to experiment, a surprising number of normally super-opinionated wine buffs go all vague and fuzzy-headed when the subject is broached. You'll hear plenty of suggestions, from muscat to sweet sherry and madeira; from the sweet white wines of the Loire to the sweet red ones of Roussillon; from Australian and California stickies to tawny port . . . few of them delivered with absolute conviction. The answer, I decided, was to hold a mini-tasting.
Derry Clarke of L'Ecrivain provided the venue, the pudding (one of the two dozen his mother-inlaw Sadie Parker makes for the restaurant every year) and his palate, along with that of his sommelier, Ray Hingston. Liz Mee, the powerhouse behind the Elephant and Castle, and Moira Carrie, restaurant manager of the new Merrion, joined the tasting team, valiantly putting eight wines to the test with frequent forkfuls of gorgeous, moist dark pud.
It was an hour-and-a-half of surprises - not all of them good. As you'll see from the list below, only four of the wines worked well enough to be worth recommending - but at least the decision was unanimous. Everybody loved the medium-sweet Italian sparkler, Moscato Asti - a beautifully light counterpoint to the traditional heavyweight pudding. Equally popular were two deep golden beauties in half bottles, at distinctly different prices. One was a Moscatel de Setubal from Portugal. The other was the Australian botrytis Riesling suggested last week as a Christmas pudding partner - and that was before it sailed out ahead at L'Ecrivain. Also praised, though not quite universally, was the famous Bonnezeaux Chateau de Fesles, a rare and sadly rather costly treat.
Alas, one other costly treat in our line-up, Mas Amiel Maury - a 15-year-old, vat-aged vin doux naturel from the south of France - was corked and hence unjudgable. A pity, especially as this dark, intriguing, Grenache-based cousin of Banyuls came out top of a recent wine-and-Christmas-pudding tasting held by Decanter magazine. No doubt it's a serious contender, worth looking out for in a handful of good wine shops at about £20.
The other wines tried and found less than successful with the pud were an Australian Botrytis Semillon/Riesling blend (too sickly-sweet), an Australian tawny port (better on its own) and a Saint-Jean-de-Minervois (too delicate for those assertive pudding flavours - but it would be nice with a Christmas ice-cream or in a sauce).
The main lesson was that, while the sweetness of the pudding wine may vary from medium to extreme, good acidity is crucial. That's what will keep the poor tastebuds, bludgeoned by the most substantial dessert known to man, still perky rather than prematurely comatose. And their owners likewise. By the way, the wine Ray Hingston recommends most warmly with Christmas pudding in L'Ecrivain is Essencia Orange Muscat 1995, the lively Californian dessert wine chosen by Carrie Crowley on this page a fortnight ago - available from a number of leading wine merchants in half bottles at around £6.95.
Last word: if you choose anything from the list below, or similar in style, chill it down to near North Pole temperature or the sweetness will be overwhelming.