Deputies, in a cross-party initiative, are threatening to ban RTE from the Dail chamber because, they say, not even drunks and insomniacs are now watching Oireachtas Report, which last week went out as late, or, if you like, as early, as 3 a.m. Fine Gael's Jim Higgins and Charlie Flanagan, and Pat Rabbitte of DL, have been on the warpath against the national station. But, so far, Fianna Fail has been silent. Indeed, according to an internal document which has come Quidnunc's way, the party has been schooling its members in both houses on how to make the most of a fleeting appearance on the box.
A circular from the press director, Tom Reddy, thanks members for attending the Media Focus Programme some months ago and summarises the lessons learned. For those who have not attended Wally Young's PR outfit, Quidnunc passes on some tips:
Doughnut the speaker so you get on television.
If you lean over your notes, only your head will be seen.
If you swivel on your feet your words will be lost.
Pause for a moment before responding to a question to give the camera a chance to focus. (Count to four in your head if you have to, or use a delaying tactic i.e. "in response to the deputy's question . . .")
If you have a good sound bite, remind your local radio that it can order it from the Dail studios for a nominal fee.
And finally: "Remember there may only be four people in the chamber - but you could end up on the television."