In the future couples could marry for ten years instead of until death, according to an unpublished report commissioned by the Government.
With marital breakdown rates approaching 50 per cent in western countries, more than 3,300 Irish marriages ended in divorce in the 12 months up to last July - the most in any one-year period since divorce was legalised in 1995.
Dr Colm O'Connor, of the Cork Marriage Counselling Service, said: "Many people feel trapped in relationships and this experience can be emotionally demoralising over many years."
In a study of 2,000 cases of "distressed couples" using the service over eight years, commissioned by the Department of Social, Community and Family Affair, he found that women first sought counselling in 86 per cent of cases.
In 28 per cent of cases, couples were counselled together, while in more than half (51 per cent) the women were counselled alone - a result of men feeling "threatened or anxious" when faced with seeking outside help, Dr O'Connor said.
Alcohol abuse was blamed in one in four cases - the vast majority of these involving the husband's drinking - and violence was a problem in one in three cases.
Rather than measure the success of a marriage by how long it lasts, a better measure could be the amount of respect the couple shows for each other, Dr O'Connor suggested.
In his report he said he believed the `until death us do part' clause is becoming less substantive.
He said it was no longer a reasonable objective as people are living 20 years longer than in the 19th century so "the toll of loveless marriage weighs enormously on society with ever increasing numbers of broken marriages".
He suggested couples could "renegotiate" new marriages and would benefit from the element of personal freedom and choice.
The report is due to be published in September.
PA