There may be 40 shades of green in Ireland, but the new Aer Lingus uniform isn't one of them. Not that the national airline has abandoned the national colour; it's just that the precise variant in the new designs defies description and, according to a company spokesman, you couldn't buy it in a paint shop.
The inability to define it wasn't for the want of trying. The Aer Lingus press office set a new Irish record for the greatest consecutive number of adjectives in a press release, when describing the female uniform as a "two-piece iridescent 100 per cent wool herringbone streamlined suit".
By way of an encore, the company added that the "three-button jacket is three-quarter length with a reverse revere collar detail worn with a matching mid-knee skirt". So it was curious that the company became suddenly lost for words when asked how much the new uniform was costing. The Irish Times suggested it looked like a million dollars, but a spokesman wouldn't comment on the accuracy of that estimate.
Whatever the cost, the contract is another episode in the rise and rise of Louise Kennedy who, having dressed Mary Robinson throughout her presidency, has recently added Cherie Blair to her client list. The former President was good preparation for the Aer Lingus design, since she racked up more air miles than many flight attendants. But there were still many technical challenges to overcome before the uniform designs were finalised.
"We had to work closely with the flight safety people, so that skirt length and other features were designed for ease of movement," explained Ms Kennedy, when her two years of handiwork was finally unveiled yesterday. "On the other hand, the necklines had to be high enough so that when the attendants bend low, they're not indecent."
So the final designs are proof against drunken politicians and other mid-air hazards. And in a break with tradition, the male uniforms have been designed to co-ordinate with the female ones. ("Blue and grey herringbone 100 per cent wool jacket, worn with charcoal-grey flannel trousers, a pale blue 100 per cent cotton shirt and a textured silk tie," in case you were wondering.)
